Is it time to start piecing?

[Hope4us]

Hard to say whether she would have thrown you some encouragement or not.

I asked my W 3 separate times about Retro and we still haven't gone. W says she just doesn't believe in that stuff. Could be the same for your wife.

Have you asked about Retro? Maybe you say to her, "I know I can't tell you what to do and I'm not going to fight you on this (D), but I feel like it would be a shame if we didn't try EVERYTHING possible before we make a decision that will affect ourselves and our kids for the rest of our lives. Would you consider spending ONE weekend with me at Retro, just to make sure we've exhausted all possibilities"? Or something like that.

I too took my ring off at one point. She was in her A, wouldn't quit and I was pretty much done. After the A ended and she said she would stay until S17 graduated, I put it back on, both as a sign to her and myself that I was in this marriage until it was over. That's a very personal thing, the rings, that only you can decide for yourself.

But like Puppy says, don't take it off and put it back on every other day. Make a decision and stick with it.

And I couldn't agree more. When I truly began GAL, I think it had an affect on W. As long as you're still living together you have to be lovingly detached. Go out and don't tell her where you're going. You don't have to be up to no good, but she doesn't need to know that. Heck, there were a lot of times I sat at a sports bar playing a trivia game for hours. And W didn't ask, and I didn't tell, where I was. But I think it got her thinking. If you're not married, according to her, you don't have to explain anything to her.

And I've said this before, 6 months is nothing. She's convinced herself that this is her only option, it's going to take a long time for her feelings to change. If you're going to be in the same house, be her friend, but only her friend.

And I saw your post about the family thing at the zoo. I know how hard it is, but do those kinds of things. But act like you're there only for your kids with her as an observer.

Might work, might not. But it sounds like this is your only chance.