I know. That's why I know that I've only got a very narrow window of opportunity here. If I wait at all, the ugly roomate will move out, and my WAW will begin to settle and feel comfortable where she's at. I really only have a few days at most to get her to reconsider, before she crawls back into her cocoon, probably for months, and possibly forever.
The thing that's unique in my sitch is that we've been here before, and this time, everything is moving exponentially faster. I have to take that into account in my approach. If I snooze, I lose, so the traditional DB method of staying dark and letting her stew in her goo is just as exponentially accelerated as everything else. I believe that she's ready to move back in, and just needs some convincing that it's the right thing to do.
I intend to point out to her that I have no intention or desire to pursue our past relationship, and that instead, I want to build a NEW relationship that we can BOTH be happy with.
Honestly, I've been telling her ever since she moved back in 6-1/2 years ago that she CAN restore those feelings of passion for me, if she would only work with me to do so. I've tried on numerous occassions over the years to get her to read some of the books and material that I've gathered on the subject, but she's just flat out refused to believe that it's even possible to consider.
One thing in my advantage in this regard is that she's been clean and sober for 20 months now. Two years ago, she NEVER would've imagined herself not only being sober at this point, but being an influential member of her AA group. NEVER, would she have believed that, yet all of that came about as the result of books and support.
My greatest asset of all right now though, is her current roomate. I have no idea what that woman has been saying and doing to WAW the past few days, but it's obviously been brutal enough to make her at least listen to me for the first time in years. She actually LISTENED while I told her that we could FIX this, and that it was absolutely NOT necessary to go through with divorce.
I'm going to have a real rational, calm discussion with her this afternoon, and ask her to move back home. If she doesn't want to do so yet, I'm going to at least re-open myself to her, because she needs a friend right now, and I'd rather that be me than someone else. If she goes back to being aggressively opposed to reconnecting, I'll go dark again, and will probably have to wait months before she'll reach out to me again.
I just know that, based upon how I know my wife, and how she reacted yesterday when I spoke with her, she DOES want to move back right now. I just need to present the option to her in a way that she doesn't feel threatened or pressured from it.
