Interesting and very abrupt 180 from my WAW yesterday. For the first time since she dropped her latest bomb, we had a REAL conversation, and she actually LISTENED to what I had to say. I'd gone completely dark, and she was as well. Since she moved out a couple weeks ago, we haven't said more than 20 words to each other.

I'd resolved myself to doing what I had to do in order to get myself and my kids on track as best I could. I've got a TON of things going on right now...sudden, unexpected job change, bankruptcy, loan modification on the house, alanon, and this ridiculous divorce.

Yesterday, I had a job interview and go hired (yea!). When I got home, my D handed me the phone, and it was WAW. I had texted her the night before, giving her instructions as to what I needed for the bankruptcy filing. This HAS to be done by next Friday, so I'm really humping to gather up all of the information required (it's not at all an easy task, fwiw).

She asked about the class, and I told her that the easiest way was to do it online. She doesn't have access to a computer, so I ran down the list of centers where she could take it, and none of them were closer than about 20 miles or so, so she asked if she could come over on Monday night to take it here. I said "Sure."

Then, I told her that I've gotta see a CPA, to get the 2008 taxes hammered out, and that we'd each end up being stuck with probably $5000-$6000 in tax liability for 08 and 09 (long story that I won't go into). She wasn't teribly pleased to hear that, of course.

Then, she said "Lots of drama going on over here." I said "I bet it's not near as much drama as I've got over here."

I then told her that I'm going to be selling the house. She offered to help make the mortgage, and I said that it just doesn't make any sense for both of us to live by scraping pennies off the floor, just to keep a house that we'll undoubtedly end up losing anyway.

She said "I never intended for that to happen." I said "Well, sometimes, people in your life do things to you that you don't necessarily want or like, but you just have to accept them and move on. Life sucks bad sometimes, and you just have to deal with it. It is what it is."

She then started to cry. I said "We don't HAVE to do this, you know."

She said "But I can't force what's not there."

I said "I KNOW that you don't believe me when I say this, but I PROMISE you that we CAN rebuild that. We can FIX this. I PROMISE YOU."

She listened and sobbed. I said "I love you," and she immediately said "I've gotta go and get to bed."

I said "Bed? It's 4 in the afternoon. What's up with that?"

She said "I haven't been eating or sleeping, and I'm starting to feel sick."

I then asked her what her drama was, and she said that the woman that she's rooming with right now was just told by the homeowner that he wants her gone by the time he gets back on Nov 4. She's blaming my wife, and is viciously attacking her, emotionally over it. She's leaving nasty, ugly notes around the house, and is lashing out at her constantly.

I said "You have to take care of yourself. You can't go on not eating or sleeping," and she said "I know."

I then told her to go to bed and get some rest, and she said "I will...I'll be by tomorrow after work to pick up D." I said "Ok, then...you take care of yourself." And, with that, we said goodbye.

I truly hadn't expected this so soon. I knew that eventually, when she got her OWN place and wasn't living for free as she is right now, she'd start to feel the pain from her decision, and that THEN there might be some small flicker of hope, but I had no idea that she'd start to feel that pain so soon. I can only thank that her current roomate for this sudden turnaround.

The owner of the house is a close friend of hers. He had a stroke a couple years ago, so he's partially disabled, but while he was recovering from that, he was also a heavy drinker, and he was involved in an accident in which he caused permanent injury to another driver. He's doing 4 months in the county jail for that, and gets out on Nov 4. I KNOW that he and my wife would have no problem being roomates, because he's a real nice guy and would make her feel completely comfortable and non-threatened for as long as she needed to get money together to move into her own place. That could be several months.

I feel as though I have a window of opportunity now, thanks to this current roomate's behavior, and my wife's reaction to it. She's suddenly, for the first time, having to face pain from her decision to leave, and it's given me an opportunity to try to convince her to come home.

I plan to ask her to sit down and talk with me this afternoon. I'm not going to force her into anything, but I'm going to ask her to look inside her heart, and ask herself if her not being able to eat and sleep is a sign that she's on the right path right now.

I'm going to express my agreement with her that our relationship over the past years since she moved back from her last WAW adventure hasn't made ME happy, either, and that I have no desire to pursue THAT relationship, but rather, want to build a NEW relationship with her that will transcend what we've had in the past.

I'm going to ask her to do what she KNOWS in her heart of hearts is the RIGHT thing to do, and move back home, where she belongs. Her kids and I both want her back.

I have no idea where this will lead, but I know that I have a very small window of opportunity here that I HAVE to pursue. Just as everything else with regard to this latest WAW episode, she appears to be ready to reconsider, much sooner than I'd have expected. Every aspect of this second run has been so greatly accelerated over the last that I can barely keep up with the changes.

The first time around, we lived together for 16 months after her bomb drop, and I was able to digest everything around me as it unfolded, bit by bit. It took me months to get over the grief that time. This time, it was merely days. It took her over a year to move out last time. This time, it was less than 2 weeks. It took months of going dark before she started to have doubts last time. This time, it's been exactly 2 weeks of separation and just over a week of going dark.

Wish me luck. Today may well determine whether she moves back now, or stays put for many more months to come. If I can't convince her to move back home in the next few days, and her other roommate moves out to accomodate the homeowner's request before he gets home from jail, her level of discomfort and pain associated with her decision will suddenly and dramatically drop precipitously, and she'll undoubtedly begin to feel right about her decision once again.