"In the back of my head, I think she is trying to see if I desire her. Her silly friend told her I would be trying to put the moves on her."
Yes she is trying to see if you desire her. If lack of sex was one of the reasons for her wanting to leave, then this will have to be rectified before she agrees to return to the relationship. Regardless of whether she actually wants to have sex with you, she will have to know that you desire her in order to want to come back to the marriage. As far as her "silly friend" why is it silly to think that a H would want to put the moves on his own wife? I'm not following that one, but I don't know all the details of your situation so I apologize for that.
Here is my take on the bathroom bust in, for whatever it's worth. Above all, Blackie, she wants to be able to be HERSELF around you. That is true intimacy. She cannot do that if she is always editing and monitoring herself because she is not sure how you will react, what you will think of her, etc. I would bet that she has no hangups about being naked around you but that she has picked up on your negative feelings about your own nakedness and transferred it to herself. Now she is convinced that you view her naked body with the same unease as you do your own. Having to stifle your sexual self is really really hard and it does NOT foster intimacy. It erodes it, little by little. Your wife is going to need to feel safe enough with you that she can let that side of herself show without fear that you will think it's: silly, ridiculous, inappropriate, not the right time, lewd, immoral, etc.
I'm not saying that any of this applies to you personally, I am just trying to illustrate that a person's sexuality is a sacred thing that you show to someone that you trust. She needs to trust that you won't reject this part of her again. I agree with you that she is crying out for signs of life in ol Blackie. What do you have to lose? Show her a sign and then step back and take stock. See if it had the desired effect. If not, then don't do it again. But for pete's sake, don't not do it simply cause it's not in the book, right!
