...I was starving so he brought home some food. We ate it and joke around and had good conversation. My 3 year old was sleeping cause he is still sick and feel asleep on the couch. My one year old was being so loud so we went downstairs to hang out. So while down there, he brings up somehow how much he has seen a change in me in the past three weeks. How i'm so busy, and how its seems like I'm always doing things. He said he feels less pressure being around me and that I seem more carefree and less stressed. Which are all things I've been working on, and do feel I have made progress on.
So he finally admits to you that he feels less pressure around you, you see some really good results about it, he is feeling more comfortable around you and you are getting some of what you want from him and you think that to continue this situation you need to induce more pressure by talking with him about the relationship.
You are looking for answers but when you are presented with them, you look right by them for something that is more suiting & serving to you? Can you enjoy what you are getting now and try to be happy with it for a while before pursuing with relationship talk which will no doubt create pressure and make him want to run away again? Can you allow him to enjoy this family life? That is one of your goals isn't it? You want him to be around, you want to be there for you & the family, you want your husband back, you want all of these things right? So why not create the environment where that is possible for him right now without any pressure. Why not keep your expectations low and accept him as he is? Let him be comfortable around you, let him enjoy your changes because they are REAL changes aren't they?
No R talk, no pursuing, you continue getting a life and doing things and stop pressuring him, you allow him to be a parent when he can be and you acknowledge him when he does good things and as you can see, he acknowledged your efforts without you asking about it.
Just continue as is and continue to receive more of this good stuff.
I think you had your answer all along, it's counter intuitive but if whatever you are doing now is working, just continue doing it.
NO PRESSURE - those were his words, listen to him, be the kind of partner that listens to their partner.
