Maybe it was a pity party of sorts, but I do look back and see times where I needed to be assertive, but didn't understand how to "read" women correctly. It may be a moot point w/this one, but I'm still trying to learn.
As for seeing what is out there, I'm just not interested in seeing someone else. I mean I took a look at the old on-line site and really, I'm just not wanting to try w/someone else right now.
I guess I'm saying I'm not ready to throw this all away yet...even though maybe I should be. It doesn't feel like go away time right now, but I could just be completely screwed up.
Anyway, she did send me something today from her work about kids and their innocense and I wrote her back. I kept the reply to only what she sent, didn't pressure her or ask how she was doing, and I didn't talk about our R at all. She replied immediately to my reply, but I left it there.
So, now I'm still waiting to see what happens next. If she misses me, she knows where I am, as evidenced by today. I'm not getting too excited about today's contact, but at least it was something on her part in the form of a connection.
Again, we'll see. If there isn't anything from her by next week, I'm thinking of sending her a simple card and then deciding to let it go or not based on her reaction. The card would be simple and not be mushy, but let her know I've enjoyed the moments we've shared and I look forward to more moments w/her.
It is an idea, but I'll let you all know what I'll do before I do it. I think now the thing for me to do is to be patient and wait to see what happens.
Time will let me know a lot, but also, if I am on her mind, I'm guessing she'll let me know.
In the meantime, I'll concentrate on me, on my D, and on getting my knee back in shape (cartilige damage and a possible small MCL tear). I only hope surgery isn't too invasive. I hated the rehab on the left knee, but that one was a mess compared to this one. Hopefully we can just go in quick and easy and keep the rehab to a minimum.
That's it for now. I'm blue b/c I've allowed myself to feel and invest again. I may have bet on the wrong horse, but I'm not ready to call it quits yet. My astrological signs say I've got to be extra patient when involved w/a Sagitarius like GF, so maybe this is part of the "waiting game"...or maybe not.
Ali is the one to help on that front.
Be well my friends. I'm down right now b/c I don't want to date anyone else, but I'm going to bed and tomorrow is a new day.
