My two boys from my first marriage have obviously been confused through this process. W basically was "mom" to them for nearly 5 years of their lives.
That being said - she has checked on them maybe 2-3 times the entire 9 months since our separation, and until the past month or so virtually ignored them during custody exchanges.
Now she is wanting them to give her a hug when she comes in for the 10 minutes or so to get D1, and every so often brings them a $1 - $2 gift. Recently she told a mutual friend that she wishes she could "take them away" as well. Such are her words - but her actions are of someone who doesn't care.
Right now I haven't said anything, but I know that S8/S9 are confused about the situation.
I think it is important that I set a boundary for them W/MIL to stop "faking" their interactions as the only time they give two sh**s about S8/S9 is the 10 minutes it takes to swap out D1. Then they make a big show of hugs/gifts/whatever.
I really don't care to have it at this point, not with the absolute disregard they have shown toward the well-being of my boys.
I don't want to do it for any reason other than I don't really see there being a role for either of them with the boys once this has ended. W has made the process so miserable on everyone, and has shown a complete disregard for the welfare of everyone, that I think it is important to go ahead and cut that off so she can quit pretending to everyone that she cares.
It is obvious she doesn't.
This is just sad resolve on my part... my boys are confused and I'm not sure exactly what route to take here - especially with an ongoing legal situation.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
