BillM's new thread

[Eskimo Nell]

[I agree with what your say, but I agree with the view (Puppy's threads) that you should not pay for anything related to affair so router if she's using the internet to contact him, don't pay for the cell phone if she's used that to contact OM, don't pay for travel for her to visit OM, etc.

I agree but the only thing that is missing here is how are finances being currently being split anyhow? It's all well and good to say "don't pay for the router, cell phone, travel to OM" but if joint finances are still in place, the WAS still has access to the funds without having to even ask!

Another scenario is that my WAH and I have separate bank accounts plus a joint one. He's now more than halved what he pays toward the bills. This gives him more money in his own account which ergo, provides him with the where-with-all to live his separate life whilst I have to pick up the extra costs. (I hope that makes sense)!

I think that sometimes we just have to accept that whilst there are still finances that tie our Rs together, one or other partner will continue to get shafted. It's how we play that out that's important at the end of the day. Personally, I don't make a song and dance about it. I just write everything down, keep receipts and spreadsheets. If and when it comes to the end (please God that it doesn't) but I shall be ready and be able to prove what I have paid since H became a WAH. This sets me on to a more stable platform and gives me inner calm, peace and a sense of (financial) detachment, in the least. It helps me to regain some of the dignity which I feel that I lost first up and I know that I will come out better than H believes that I will. He says he wants to go 50-50 but I will contest that, if he continues on this path.... and my EVIDENCE will help me.

Protect yourself Bill ... I don't quite know how things work in America, even though here in Aus we are quite Anglo-American, but I have a sense that you would be wise to keep records too.