she says due to that relationship, she would have kicked me out the day she found out.
that's exactly how she wants to be treated too. She's abusing you now and she knows it. - how is your self-esteem right now?
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I don't want to look like the one that made her leave in their eyes.
Let's see Mom up and leaves and shacks up with OM and his kids. You think your kids will think it was you who abandoned the family?
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She claims she is taking them when she goes, but not if I can stop it.
She will because you aren't standing in the way. She knows you care about her feelings. She's depending on you keeping the status quo. This is called a 180 here.
How attractive does it make you look when she threatens to leave you and take your kids to live with another man and you do nothing to fight for her?
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Claims the other guy and his kids need her too
this is a turn-off, the guy who needs her the least will attract her. I am not advocating being a jerk but set your boundaries. Lovingly detach. Who needs this drama, you got other things to do besides chase a irrational woman. Stop chasing and the dynamic will change.
This is counter-intuitive and hard. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
