Another great day in my life...We went to go see a therapist about how divorce will affect our sons. Half way through it ended up turning into a marital session. One of the key components to our kids handling divorce is the ability for the parents to get along. Well the session ended with Joanne getting upset because I was controlling, I was acting like her father, etc...because I get mad when she goes out.
Lets see:
-Wife says I don't love you. I don't want to be married to you anymore
-Wife takes off wedding ring. Dresses like she is 25.
-Always drinks 3 glasses of wine before she goes out.
-Comes home at 3am. Speaks to and sees exboyfriend on occasion that I despise.
Because I typically do get angry the next day. I am still being controlling. Or the compromise(she called it acting like her father) was her not drinking before she is going out. Or not staying out till 3am.
So she actually said before the session started, she was thinking of reconciling. She had just told me in the moring she stop loving me 10 years ago and wasn't going to stay in a loveless marriage. Which she has said monthly since this started.
-But I am supposed to be her friend, because she can be mine. She said for the kids she would always act friendly if our roles were switched right now.
I had to say, don't ever try to put yourself in my shoes. You don't understand my feelings, I don't understand yours. You don't get that it isn't about being controlling. It is about detaching from you. Detaching from the life we used to share. It is you going out with your friends, me going out with mine--their is no longer a "WE." The loss of a marriage, the loss of a friend, the loss of a way of life. The loss of a solid family for our sons. She can't understand that is where my emotions come from. That is why I am always distant toward her. I tried the acting happy and friendly route. It went no where...I am tired of acting like something I'm not. It just was a pretend family. For the most part, I do act happy when I am around the kids. I just have a hard time being friendly with her with through all this. I do have a hard time when she is out. It is a natural feeling for a person to feel this way. Am I just to say how was your night? It is ok, you can sleep, I am sure you are tired from your late night? Sorry, that isn't going to happen.
How was your week Gina?
Thanks as always for listening.
Danny.
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
