Newbie.....dealing with a MLC'er....

[drewnole]

Hey Amy,

I am doing ok and so is my son. Thanks for asking.

As for my MLC'er, I did confirm that she did quit her job along with the OM. I don't know if they have found another job or not.

We have been trying to serve her for the past 3 weeks and she keeps avoiding being served. I guess sooner or later it will be considered a child abandonment case if this continues.

[Amy40]

Under the circumstances you should file for sole custody.
See if she dodges that summons...
If she can't be served, you will be granted sole custody.
I've never seen a case where that didn't happen when the other parent failed to be able to be served or show up for court.
The Judge would most likely continue it the first time in another attempt to serve her and preserve her interests but if she still can't be served, you will get what you are asking for by default.

If you can make it on your own financially, you should probably count on having to do so indefinitely.

I'm sorry for the situation.

Your son is lucky he has you.

Hang in there.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Drew,

Remind me please why you are gunning for sole custody?

Is she a danger to your child?

Or is it to hurt her?

Curious.

[Amy40]

He isn't "gunning" for sole custody Jack.

I just recommended that he do so.

1) They aren't married - legally the kid is up for grabs.
2) She is unstable
3) Her living situation is questionable
4) She is unreliable
5) She just quit her job which makes her subject to go anywhere at anytime and technically, she can take the kid with her if she decides to.

Just to clarify.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

: )

Thanks Amy.

I understand why you recommend it.

I am wondering why he is, from his point of view.

Some genies cannot be put back into the bottle.

[drewnole]

Jack,

I filed for sole custody back in July when she disappeared for a week. Just as Amy explained, she could have taken our son and I would have been f'd.

I never told her I filed. I kept it under wraps just in case she would have tried to run away with our son.

She has not provided for our son for over 6 months. I have not received a single cent. I felt like I had no choice.

I had my L put together a joint parenting plan. She did not want anything to do with it. Especially since she would have to pay child support.

Her behavior over this time has been erratic to say the least. It is very obvious that she doesn't want to be a mother right now.

I did this to protect myself and my son. If she would have at least tried to help out a little bit, I would not felt the need to proceed with this.

[Amy40]

We have a case here at the firm in which a mother had a baby born out of wedlock - she took the kid - easy to do since she can prove she gave birth - but dad can't prove the kid is his - so he's out in the cold - The woman has since married another man. They are claiming the kid is of the marriage - easy enough to disprove with medical and marital records but meanwhile - months have passed and real dad has lost precious bonding time with his baby.

Moral to the story: cover your ass before a vindictive, trifling woman buries it.

Custody should be determined in any case but if you are not married, you need to lock it down quickly if you are a man.

Just sayin'.

It is what it is.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Birth Certificate should have two names on it.

All I'm saying.

Wasn't trying to be a fly in the oinment, when have you known me to be all fluffy bunny either Amy?

I was just curious as to the motivation.

Not that it matters but I agree with the decision, just be aware of the ramnifications of your course of action as well.

[Amy40]

"...fluffy bunny..."?

LOL

[frank_D]

"...fluffy bunny..."?

LOL

You know, like the one guarding the cave in Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

You've been warned!