Not wanting to be on this boat........

[Puppy Dog Tails]

So, my question is why did she hang in the relationship until say March but than in late March when she gets what she was asking for all along it is no longer good enough??

Because by the you changed and improved, she had already gotten involved with someone else, in all likelihood. ALL of the red flags are there.

Once there's someone else, she will not only not APPRECIATE your changes and improvements . . . she will actually RESENT them.

Puppy

[ShockedOne]

+1 on Puppy. You just wrote my exact sitch with a few variations. Trip together, changes, and script to a tee!

[Buffet]

Ok so I am not going to say that is not possible, even probable. There is 1 questionable phone number that keeps popping up on her phone she spends inordinate amounts of time talking to it when I am not around (I travel 1-2 times a week for business). So---what do I do? If I confront about this number sh** will hit the fan for looking thru her phone.
What kind of game plan do I need to put together from here?

[ShockedOne]

Can you get ahold of her phone and find a name to the number. Snooping is not the best thing to do, but if something is happening behind your back, you have a right to know. The more info about this OP, the better you can confront on. She does not need to know how you got your info. What about email records, chat sessions, texts, call the number yourself from a payphone, get a name? Just some ideas. Have you thought about a keylogger on the home computer.
Shock

[Buffet]

there is no name attached to it which makes it stand out. EVERY number that she talks to has a name attached to it except this one. She does work in sales so it would be easy to think that it was a client/customer until you look at the times that they "talk" and how long for, also there is a cryptic texting language they use just speak in letters, like "K" and "S" etc back and forth to each other??
In the long run it does not matter who it is more than it needs to stop. However I have nothing "concrete" yet. We both have company lap tops that we use so putting a keylogger would not do much good as she does not use the home computer at all.

[ShockedOne]

Then I suggest making a call to that number from a payphone and see if you can get a name to start piecing things together. All signs are pointing to an EA or PA. What are some of the texts? Maybe we can help decipher for you. It is definitely looking something along the lines of inappropriate behavior.
Shock

[Buffet]

****Warning Vent and feel bad for myself on this one****

today we went to a mutual friends kids birthday party. It was a blast they had a blow up princess castle for the little girl and all of the kids were inside the castle playing and having a great time. It got me thinking that a huge problem that we have had is since we have had our kid we do not go out anymore and hang with other couples and there really is no reason not to (until lately!) it felt so good to be around friends-and better yet friends who are all in the same place in life--married with kid or kids. Now every chance she gets the wife is running out with her single friend who I have mentioned before is beyond poison.
So....as we are having a great time wife says all of a sudden we have to go. Oh yeah, she and my son are going to her parents house to their fall party. I can go----if I want to. Um, no thanks W.
So we leave the b-day party and our little boy is screaming his head off begging to stay in the "jumpy house!" It was heartbreaking and I could not help but think to myself on the drive home how much his life is going to be, and in many ways already is effected by all of this crap.
Back to the parents thing, I had always had a pretty good relationship with her parents until around the birth of the baby. As mentioned in my first post we bought our home from her grandparents and that went horribly. Ever since the relationship has deteriorated. Last year her dad was having a MLC of his own and everyone in the family assumes he cheated on his wife, went on vacations with another women, went to the bar multiple times a week, lost his business, did not/could not find another job and got a couple a DUI's plus filed bankruptcy for i believe the 3rd time. However, when Wife came to me and said that her mom was thinking of leaving I said that she should work thru it if possible with the dad b/c they are married and have been for so long and the kids, family, etc-not to mention that marriage is important.
Fast forward a year my wife goes to her mom and dad and says that she is unhappy with things again alot has happened to us in the last 2 years (baby, my fathers death, house thing, new jobs, etc...) Her dad's advice------get a divorce lawyer and oh yeah by the way here I have a couple that I looked at that I can refer you to!!!???
Are you kidding me!? That is his advice, break up the marriage tuck tail and run after everyone put up with his Sh** for so long and no one ever threatened him. I guess it is not really relevant except that it is, b/c my Wife still looks up to her dad as if he can do no wrong. Things like this get me feeling down and I just want to throw in the towel, except.....I look at my little guys face and just cant quite do it-if things could somehow come together, if she would just attempt to work on this it could be better but now it just gets worse and worse every day and I am feeling like I have just been discarded and thrown away by her. It is like my usefulness to her is done, we got married and I helped her pay off some massive debt, gave her a wonderful son, and now when I have needed her the most she is not there for me.
It sucks and I know that this is not any worse than many peoples deals here but man what a punch in the gut everyday to have to live like this.

[Buffet]

so we had a MC session tonight the wife could not make it b/c her company announced a huge layoff at lunchtime so she had to stick around for that. I decided to go anyways as the session was already paid for and I figured that an "extra" session could not hurt.
Well--apparantley the wife thinks that I am just trying to get the counselor on my side and she was upset. I was also told that she has tried to make herself love me again but that I make her disgusted now??!! However, she again has said that i can file for divorce and than I would be the one breaking up the family?
She is so all over the board in her rants/complaints that I do not even know what to say or where to start?? I have a sense that this layoff at work could work in favor of the marriage b/c the prime suspect of any PA or at the least an EA was her former boss turned co-worker taht was laid off today. Initially she is going to feel real sorry for him and his situation, but maybe that will make this little affair lose some steam? He is also married with a little son.
After reading my whole story on here and thinking about our relationship I am not sure what is going on with her. Obviously she has some hostility/anger issues with me and the relationship. But what else is going on? Does she want to divorce does she want to reconcile? Does she care either way? Very confused.........

[ShockedOne]

Don't try to assume anything that she may or may not be thinking. Or that she may or may not do. You will most likely prove yourself wrong. Don't believe anything you are told, and only believe half of the actions you see. A layoff may also give them both more time to call, text, talk, meet, see one another. I just want you to be prepared for everything. I still guess wrong on almost everything that my XWAW does, says, and thinks. And I rarely try to guess on anything.
Shock

[Buffet]

Shock--
Thanks for checking on me I appreciate your advice throughout.

I am on the road today for work (i travel about 10 nights a month) and I have gotten a couple of phone calls from her and just chatting away like everything is ok?? I read others stories and here that it is just weird when it happens to you.

I have another MC appointment for monday and I told W it is her choice to show up or not. I have not said it but I feel like she needs to make a commitment to either work on this or not. Either way I think that I would be able to accept I just do not like the wondering what and when all of the time.

What is the opinion of asking W for a commitment either way? Any good come out of this or all bad? Do I leave it alone for now and just continue on.

Also, I am wondering about my thoughts (still!) Do I just want to be in a relationship, is it ok to think that I am ok with D or M but just want a resolution either way. It seems here patience is a virtue, but how much is to much?? What were others internal gauge on when to say "Forget This!!" I do love my W but I also really feel like the more this goes on and extremly more feel this way now than I did a month ago that it is getting harder and harder to look at her in the same light ever again. How many times can my "loved one" absolutely rip my face apart and I still come back looking for love. I deserve better than this, it feels like I am a puppy dog (sorry for the pun!) looking for love and getting kicked every time.
This should not be such a big deal but I have not had sex, a kiss, a cuddle, heck held hands in 7 months.....grr.....
I know that I made mistakes in the M that has contributed to the current feelings but doesnt everyone deserve a 2nd chance? Dont I deserve to be happy and feel loved?