Quote:

But what are the risks? Are they acceptable? Are YOU at the point where you're ready to live with any possible outcome to such an ultimatum?



At this point I am not ready to issue an ultimatum I was just looking at that post and thinking hmmm is this what H is doing now? Running back and forth? I don't think he is anymore, I think he's getting ready to make a decision to come back.

tonight he got here to pick up son a little later than I thought he would. I had plans to go to a movie with a friend and it was getting close to showtime. So H shows up, comes in and asks if son has ate yet, I said no. And then H said it's 6:30 and he hasn't ate yet? I said no, why did you eat? And H said yes! H said he had an eye appointment and that he didn't know how long it would take so he didn't know what time he would get to the house. So silly me couldn't figure out what was taking so long. Well he had dinner with OW. When I talked to him earlier in the afternoon he didn't say that the reason he didn't know what time he was going to be at our house was because he had to take her to dinner!!!!!!!

So he asks about a shirt for son, I said I don't know where it is, but I have to go. He said why do you have to run off? I said I have plans? He said where are you going? I then switched the conversation back to the missing shirt. So H asks again where are you going I said I have plans? He said where? So I finally said I'm going to a movie. What I should have said was "it's homecoming for the univ. this weekend all the exfootball players are in town so gf and me are hitting the bars. I won't go into details, but H would have definitely been nervous!!! Come on I mean here he shows up here, after having dinner with OW, and wants to know where I'm going?? I don't think so.

I will say he was very low key tonight, meaning not a lot of emotion, his anger seems to be fading fast, I will say that. He tries, but he also catches himself and it doesn't last long.

How is it that I now feel that I am above everything and looking down, does that make sense? I'm assuming he had dinner with OW, but it only bothered me for a little bit. Oh I vented in the car on the way to meet my friend, but I also am developing a new perspective on this sitch. Just becuase H is showing babysteps towards me, and really noticeable ones, the OW isn't just going to go AWAY like I EXPECT. H is not going to just stop seeing her, since he does live with her... for now anyways. He doesn't pay her anything to live there, uses her utilities, her toys, and her so I'm sure he feels he owes her something--I hate it when I defend H. Until H is ready to tell OW IT'S OVER, he's not going to stop doing things with her...right?

H is really struggling now and I have to let him get through it on his own so am not going to REACT or push.

Shiny, I am not going to give him an ultimatum at all. When I decide it's time for me to move on, I will move on and then I won't look back, it'll be too late. And that time hasn't come yet and I haven't really decided when that time will be either.

So I'm still hanging in here..