Well Thinker my man, it sounds to me like you already know the answer.
While it is in fact the case that 50% custody doesn't HAVE to mean you miss out on half the kids' things, if it is your sincere contention that you want to be around the kids 100% of the time, then in a strict cost-benefit calculus if the benefit to you of 100% kid-time is 1 something (utile, whatever) more valuable than the cost of Limboland, then stay in Limboland, focus all your energy on the kids, and - if you'll excuse the somewhat misappropriated word here - DECIDE.
The kids dont need to know if their parents are conjugal and at some point wont want to know. And so long as you derive the kidly payoff it is a fair bargain - a good compromise.
