Quote: It's JMHO that when we give to much to our Hs that are still actively involved with the OW all we're really doing is spinning our wheels and wasting valuable energy because they have the best of both worlds. If WE make them uncomfortable they run to the OW for safety...if the OW makes them uncomfortable they run to US for reassurance that we're still there waiting in the wings. That 'safety net' that both we and the OW provide them allows them to NEVER have to stop and look at what they're doing or feel/see the pain they're leaving in their wake all around them.
That safety net allows them to take comfort from whomever is willing to give it at the moment, with no regard for what it's costing the giver.
T2 put this over at holdingon's thread a few weeks back...am I doing this? Am I a safety net for H still or am I making him think about things and how maybe his feelings for me are starting to come back and that he's screwed! Meaning he's going to have to decide something or admit to himself that he really does want to come back?
Am I a safety net for H still or am I making him think about things and how maybe his feelings for me are starting to come back and that he's screwed! Meaning he's going to have to decide something or admit to himself that he really does want to come back?
