Is it time to go gucci?

[Gnosis]

I decided to just cc him on an email. That will answer his question without actually answering his email.

Good enough.

I appreciate you sharing your man's point of view Gnosis and validating and reminding me how outrageous his behavior is.

You're more than welcome.

If he really is as dense as he makes out to be he doesn't deserve someone like you. I re-read some of your past posts. From what you describe, he sounds like a man who just wants you around to be his: maid, servant, personal and financial assistant. He wants all that, and his freedom to chase fantasies. You're doing well to move out and get him to prove himself - before his health fails and you end up being his nurse too. You're too young for all that.

As far as the trip to Europe goes... been there, done that. Just old dirty cities falling apart with too much traffic. Walking around and waiting for an old fart to catch up wouldn't have been much fun. I'm more of a tropical island, sitting around on the beach and lapping up the sun kind of guy.

You're going to rock his fantasy world when he returns to find an empty home. Cool! I hope for you, that's the wake-up call he needs. Refresh your Gucci skills by looking up his old posts to prepare yourself on how to respond with him. Also, Robx posts will help you too.

I wish you the best Dudess.

[breakaway]

Who cares about the candle...maybe he smelled up the bathroom at the cathedral and was trying to clear the air.

I wish it didn't get to me, but his cluelessness, (I'm supposing), boggles my mind. Did he think I would be touched by his gesture? Yeah, I'm one lucky lady. Having your H light a candle for you in Paris is almost as good as being in Paris.

It was the least he could do...literally.

Brilliance on cc'ing him. Brilliance. Maybe you should burn something for him.. "Dear H...I was thinking of you also, I lit your belongings on fire." lol J/K!

[breakaway]

I think this the second time I said something about that..

gentle readers, breakaway does not in fact condone pyromania. But it does make me laugh.

[Gnosis]

Humm... if you feel like having fun, here's a really considerate thing you could do for him: Leave a paper bag full of dog poop in the refrigerator. (He might be hungry from his trip)

If he asks for a ride back from the airport... agree to it... then conveniently forget. When he calls to find out where you are, don't answer.

Oh, and please DON'T clean the house before you leave.

OK, OK, I better get off of here before someone bans me or something since my bitterness is really starting to show.

[DownNotOut...yet]

Sorry, I missed the lit the candle "for you" part. I thought it said simply "he lit a candle.

I think cc'ing the email was good.

If you leave, OK, that is good. This other stuff, aside from the comedic value, you probably want to avoid. Being vindictive does nothing to make the world a better place. Burning bridges only pollutes the water in the river below.

[pearlharbr]

Oh, I missed all the fun stuff!

Excellent idea on cc'ing the email. I know you want to take care of things your way, just take the time to assess that's your motive, doing what is best for Dudess.

I know all the vindictive stuff is good fantasy material and not so good in real life. But I do find myself having moments where I really wish I had slapped BF before. Maybe indulge in one little thing that won't cause permanent or lasting damage, like "forgetting" to pick him up from the airport.

[Dudess]

If he really is as dense as he makes out to be he doesn't deserve someone like you.

He is emotionally dense, which was hard for me to grasp because he is really quite brilliant in many other ways.

From what you describe, he sounds like a man who just wants you around to be his: maid, servant, personal and financial assistant. He wants all that, and his freedom to chase fantasies.

That sure was not the marriage I signed up for - nor the vision he relayed to me when trying to convince me to marry him. It's the old bait and switch.

You're doing well to move out and get him to prove himself - before his health fails and you end up being his nurse too. You're too young for all that.

As far as the trip to Europe goes... been there, done that. Just old dirty cities falling apart with too much traffic. Walking around and waiting for an old fart to catch up wouldn't have been much fun.

If he were treating me well, that he is an 'old fart' who can't walk too far or fast, wouldn't matter to me. We used to have a lot of fun together. I knew I was marrying a man much older than me and was prepared to accept what might come with it. I am very loyal to those who are loyal to me.

You're going to rock his fantasy world when he returns to find an empty home.

I wonder . . . It has occured to me that he might be relieved, even happy, and that his actions are a passive-aggressive way of getting me to leave him.

Maybe you should burn something for him.. "Dear H...I was thinking of you also, I lit your belongings on fire." lol J/K!

LOL. One of my first thoughts was telling him I lit a candle for him too - underneath the voodoo doll I made of him.

If he asks for a ride back from the airport... agree to it... then conveniently forget. When he calls to find out where you are, don't answer.

Oh, and please DON'T clean the house before you leave.

So I guess you would say I shouldn't leave a nice cassarole for him to pop in the oven either huh?

If you leave, OK, that is good. This other stuff, aside from the comedic value, you probably want to avoid. Being vindictive does nothing to make the world a better place. Burning bridges only pollutes the water in the river below.

I agree with you Down, and I doubt anyone was serious. It's theraputic to release a bit of anger by bandying about fun revenge scenarios. It doesn't mean I, or anyone else, is serious about it. Breakaway does not condone arson!

[Dudess]

I decided to just cc him on an email. That will answer his question without actually answering his email.

H got the cc I sent him today. He replied to me and said thanks. Told me he was back in the original city (where OW/Ms. Unattainable is). He had already told me Friday he was headed back there. He asked me where I was. Not sure why he is thinking I am somewhere other than home. Ignore?

I've been thinking about some of the things he told me about OW (when he was telling me about his prior obsession her back when he and I were pals.) It sounds like she is very effusive in her language, signs emails to everybody 'love' for example. She was always very nice to him and complimentary, but he was the one to initiate most of the phone calls, get togethers, etc. He said he could not figure out if she was romantically interested in him or not.

Maybe a blueprint for how it is done?

[Dudess]

Alternatively, I could say something silly like:

down the rabbit hole, through the looking glass, area 51, between the worlds, just outside the time-space continuum . . .

[iamhurting]

Hello, I am new here and I am not exactly sure where to post. I just wanted some advice. About two months ago, my husband told me that he wanted to leave me. (we have a 15 month old child). We have been together for nine years and married for three years. His reason is,"we never fixed our problems which we had for all those years" He claimed I never trusted him because I was always jealous about him with other women and was always nagging. So he claimed that he is tired of it. So I was hurt. I came to the conclusion that there had to be another women involved. So I snooped. I checked his phone, phone bills, receipts from his pockets. I found evidence that he is involved with another woman. I had called the woman but she claimed that they were just friends. For three weeks we argued because I insisted that he had something with that woman. He did not admit to it for three weeks. He finally admitted that yes, he had feelings for her but it was not mutual. I reacted so bad and even called the woman again. We had a big argument that night. The next morning, he put a deposit for an apartment and moved in in the beginning of October. Since the time he told me he wanted to move out, I begged him and begged him and said millions of please, which drew him further away. A week ago, I spied on him. To make stories short, I found him and the woman in his new apartment. I reacted very bad, which made him think I am psychotic. I explained to him that I would not have spied on him and did all those crazy things if he just admitted to me that he was falling for somebody else. Things just got worst and worst. I am so hurt that I have lost weight, couldn't concentrate at work and at home. I just couldn't believe that he left me and our child. Like I said, we always argued about my jealousy but we always managed to stay together. This would have never happened if he had not met this woman. Last Tuesday was the last time we saw each other. I told him I needed time for myself and I did not want to argue anymore. I think that my husband is confused. Three days after he told me he wanted to leave, he was admiring the way I dressed and even mentioned that when he gets his raise, we will buy an SUV, he even kissed me in the church (when doing the sign of peace in Catholic mass). He even mentioned "when I move out, I will the extra dresser because I don't want to buy a new one, I might come back". I just don't know what he is thinking. He doesn't feel bad at all for leaving me and our baby. Is there hope in this broken marriage. What can I do? Please, I need some advice. I miss him, and I am ready to reconcile. thanks for reading.