Can I save my marriage?

[Lll54]

I think I put myself in the worst position ever this week. Its been three hard long weeks of torture. I have good days, and I have bad days. The couple of days before he came home to stay, I felt a like I had a little detachement. He called me twice in one day which he hadn't done in three weeks. Normally I would have over analyzed that to shreds. But I remember thinking that night before I went to bed that I didn't even think twice after it happened! yay for me! Then the boys got sick and he decided to stay here for his 5 days with them. (He works shift work 5 on, 5 of) Obviously, I agreed cause I didn't want them leaving the house. Now I feel like it is three weeks ago and he is leaving all over again today. He's been here two nights and this morning we played with the boys and it felt "normal" again. Only to hear him say he is going back tonight. Back to square one. I feel like I am never going to heal from this! I am going to counselling but it isn't doing anything, because my focus right now is getting my husband back, not moving on with my life. Everyone keeps talking about my well being. Well honestly, I don't seem to care about that right now? I don't know how to care about it. All I care about is my husband, and getting him home. Then I can care about my well being again. Just my honest feelings. A couple weeks ago we got into a heated discussion and i told him that I feel like I don't know who he truly is. And this morning he threw that in my face a few times. And really wouldn't drop it. I wasn't sure how to handle it without making him angry so I kind of ignored it. Any thoughts as to why he would bring that up now?