Wife says she wants me to move on

[Lll54]

Oh I feel you completely! The way you talk, the things you say feel like they are coming from me! I too have tried keeping busy and going out. But my friends all completely involve married with children people. So as much fun as you can have with these people does not eliminate the constant thoughts that run through your mind about their lives and how you used to have that and want it back. And watching them interact the whole day or night and not having anyone there to have the same interaction with. And not just anyone but your "spouse" I completely understand the feeling of not wanting to let go, because as soon as you do, does that give them too much space that they start to enjoy it and then never want to come home? I dunno? We have two little boys together so we haven't had much time away from each other because we have to exchange the boys 3 times a week. But I also know what you mean when you say they haven't contacted you in 3 or 4 days and you begin to wonder if they even care about you at all? It kills us to get through those 3 or 4 days, but it obviously doesn't for them or they would contact us. I too feel lonely, exhausted, scared to death, depressed, worried. I feel like I over analyze every word that comes out of his mouth and I only do things certain ways to keep him happy. I am living my lift around him right now and that sucks. I believe you are doing the same thing. I wish there was a magic pill too, that would get them to realize what the hell they are doing. The hurt can't be erased, but I would be really nice to wake up one day and instead of the pit in the bottom of my stomach and the tears flowing for fear of how I'm going to get through the day, it would be nice to not have a second of care for our spouses. Life would be so much easier. But people like you and I and many people on here, care too much. Love too much. And walk on eggshells too much and that's why we are in this position. I think we all have more strength than we think we have, its just finding it. And that's where I am today. I have found one part of my strength for my two little boys but none for me yet. Anyways, I don't have any advice or words of wisdom for you but I just wanted you to know there is someone else out there feeling the EXACT way you feel. You are not alone. It kind of gives me some weird sense of comfort to know I am not the only one in the world going through this. Keep your head up..I am trying to.