I've read through most of your thread...I guess I feel like there are some missing pieces before I would comment very much. It still isn't clear to me what her reasons are for leaving. You've mentioned that you aren't very clear on that yourself. But what has she SAID. I'm sure she's said something about it, even if you don't "get it."
I guess I feel like it would be more than someone as pathetic as this EA you talk about to lure her away. She has to have had some reason to leave home and live under such crappy circumstances. Which I'm not saying to blame you, I don't know what goes on in her head. But you have made comments that she has said tearfully that she'd tried for 5 years to get through to you. Get WHAT through to you?
You said that's a "classic WAW statement." Well sure, it's classic, because it's "classic" for some men to refuse to listen to what their WAW's were telling them. When I said I was leaving my husband he said he was in "disbelief." Frankly, I was in disbelief that HE could be in disbelief. That's the problem, I would tell him my feelings and he maintained his "disbelief" that anything was wrong.
Right now she's obviously conflicted and doesn't like having left her home behind...but she's not anxious to return to that home...so what would HER reasons be? Even if they don't make sense to you, Gyn...or you think they are unfair, what would SHE tell me if I were asking her. Not "she was unhappy" or "I wasn't the greatest husband." But specifically. Not even "she thinks I didn't support her." Think of some specific events or conversations that she would give as examples. Please.
