Make the communication about the kids, not about your marriage.
Send him a text, keep is short and light. Something like "H can you watch the kids on Saturday night. I've plans and before I get a sitter I would like to give you the first option." And that is enough.
He may ignore your message. But I doubt it. He'll want to know where you are going and with whom. Be vague and short. "Just out" is enough of a response.
If he bites on this get yourself as dolled up as you can. Wear something incredibly sexy, nice perfume, manicure . . . and don't leave until he sees you. Be in a fablulous mood. Smile and laugh when you greet him.
Make real plans to go out dancing with your girlfriends. Let men flirt with you. You need to know that you are still attractive and that you deserve better than what your husband is giving you. This situation has got to be hell on your self-esteem. A little validation will make you feel wonderful. I'm not telling you to go home with anyone, but I certainly would dance with any man that asked.
You are going to be o.k. Really.
I'm a man . . . But I can change . . . If I have to . . . I guess . . .
