I'll hazard this. Mabye a similar conversation with your D14, about how she reacts to her mom...the way you used to react to her as well as an example.
Thanks Jack, that's not a bad idea. Being a teenager though my gut tells me that she doesn't have the will or the patience. However, I will give her some advice. Her biggest issue (as is her sisters, D18) is that they both do not like being yelled at or criticized. They both have some emotional mood swings that take a lot of strength NOT to get sucked into the anger, especially because they shut down rather than discuss.
The only example they have is their mother, so their pattern is to avoid. Lately I have been not allowing myself to react when they do this. Instead I continue to tell either of them how they are being emotional and sometimes rude when I am trying to have a discussion. If they don't change their tone I start taking away privileges, calmly, until they stop.
I'm sure there is a reason I was given 2 daughters and a bipolar wife. Probably because I could handle it as long as I took care of myself. And I do.
