I think Coach is trying to say that tactically, you should take the wind out of her sails. IT WORKS. If you're not comfortable with that, you could say "Well, I don't want a divorce, but I also don't want to remain married to someone who doesn't want to remain married to ME, so I'm really sorry you feel that way."
The wife holds divorce over my head whenever I object to something she says or does. I can't express my feelings without her jumping on me.
I was in a similiar situation as yours. My wife was the Master of messing with my head. She did so successfully for years. But one day the pedestal cracked. I was sick of the "crap behavior," tired of the arguments she would start over nothing, and absolutely frustrated with the 'weird' new interests that were obviously affecting mine and my daughters home life.
From my personal experience, the WAS spouse has alot of control in these situations. Control that I think you need to regain. I can go into this more later. But for now,
Funny thing was that after I was able to remove the control she felt she was entitled to, I agreed to the threat of divorce. And she had an argument against it.
Journaling, Yesterday and today have been pretty uneventful. Nothing more has been said about our discussion the other night. Did some painting around the house yesterday. Will finish second coat today and hopefully get some other work done. Still have no one else to go to the game with on sunday.
W headed out tomorrow night for her friends BD party. Wife is telling this guy that GF is talking to that GF is lying to him about everything. Its true. IF GF finds out W is headed for major Dramaville. W's problem. I just worry what this will turn into with W and GF's guy pal.
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
I just realized i was hungry. So I decided to call W and ask her to Lunch. She was already having lunch with her GF and her man mentioned above. I'm upset but need to get over it. Detach, GAL, and appear as if I've moved on.
JJ
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
I'm upset but need to get over it. Detach, GAL, and appear as if I've moved on.
Only check up if you want to look weak. I don't think that is one of your goals???!!!
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.