Got my haircut after work, H picked up S3, SS19 calls me and asks where key to house is, he lost his, I say oops I forgot to leave it. Call your dad he's around somewhere. When I got home H was downstairs, sons were outside. They were shooting their bows and came in when it was dark. I thought I'd make us something to eat but H said he was taking sons to Pizza Hut. I kind of gave him a look and said ehhmmm what about me? Am I invited and he said sure you can come...like it was expected of me. So we all went out to eat and had a great time.
H noticed my gas gage was getting on empty, which is strange, he then asks me why I don't have any gas and says stop and put some in. So I do mainly because I don't want to do it on my way into work in the morning. I get out, he gets out and says put in $20? I get my cashcard and as he's walking into the station I say where are you going and he says to pay for the gas!! I believe this was an act of service, even though I pumped the gas. He hasn't paid for anything for me in a long time.
We got back home, we watch baseball, messed around with sons, and then SS left and S3 goes to bed. H is very interested in pursuing me tonight, if you catch my drift So we are laying together hugging and I try the R talk..probably not a good idea to do at this point, but I say to him. When you asked the other day about this marriage being saveable (at first he tried to pretend he didn't remember saying it!) and I said I do think our marriage is worth saving. I know you don't know what you're doing with your life, that I'm not going to pressure him to make a decision before he's ready. I do tell him I love him and care about him, that I'm just trying to live my life the best I can until he figures out what he's doing. I didn't add the part about "still being here for him or at some point having to move on. So HE JUMPS UP and says he has to go. I said what did I scare you? He said I'll be over to see son tomorrow night. Originally he had said he was coming to see me first. So I said aren't you coming to see me? He says what for? Then says again do you really want me to, tries to gives excuses as to why he "can't" So he's in the kitchen and I ask again if he's coming to see me tomorrow night and I said think about it and call me. He then says you call me for once. So I kissed him good bye, thanked him for the gas after he paid for it and thanked him for dinner when he left. As he was leaving he said don't you lock this door at night, meaning the one into the garage from the house, we never do nor never have and so I haven't except for once in awhile. He goes you need to lock this and make sure this door is locked, also. Another babystep, he shows concern for my safety which he hasn't done in quite awhile!
We'll see what tomorrow brings, but I really had the feeling he heard what I said about R and that him jumping up was that he remembered OW, or that he actually seemed happy but didn't want to trust it too much. I don't know, but I get a good feeling from the evening again.
The good news is he's taking S3 with him Friday night to his parents house and keep him overnight. I have plans Friday night with a gf and Saturday is football game with me sis. I'll get S Saturday afternoon or maybe just stay over at his parents house.
All in all a good night! A a good night to all!!
Cathy
T2, KK, Deb, Water--I'm still downloading my instant messenger and it takes for ever on my home computer.
So we are laying together hugging and I try the R talk..probably not a good idea to do at this point, but I say to him. When you asked the other day about this marriage being saveable (at first he tried to pretend he didn't remember saying it!) and I said I do think our marriage is worth saving. I know you don't know what you're doing with your life, that I'm not going to pressure him to make a decision before he's ready. I do tell him I love him and care about him, that I'm just trying to live my life the best I can until he figures out what he's doing. I didn't add the part about "still being here for him or at some point having to move on. So HE JUMPS UP and says he has to go. I said what did I scare you? He said I'll be over to see son tomorrow night. Originally he had said he was coming to see me first. So I said aren't you coming to see me? He says what for? Then says again do you really want me to, tries to gives excuses as to why he "can't" So he's in the kitchen and I ask again if he's coming to see me tomorrow night and I said think about it and call me. He then says you call me for once. So I kissed him good bye, thanked him for the gas after he paid for it and thanked him for dinner when he left. As he was leaving he said don't you lock this door at night, meaning the one into the garage from the house, we never do nor never have and so I haven't except for once in awhile. He goes you need to lock this and make sure this door is locked, also. Another babystep, he shows concern for my safety which he hasn't done in quite awhile!
