Gotta Keep Trying 2

[Greek]

I am saddened and disappointed. But, I am NOT devastated, depressed, defeated. Nor will I let this make me an unhappy person.

This is b/c you are strong and honorable.

I do not want to live in a loveless M. I deserve more than that. We all do.

Amen. This is your boundary.

So, folks, how am I supposed to act around her?

Aloof. About your business. Distant. Polite. Pull way back.

We are supposed to go to a function tomorrow as a family at the zoo. I want to be there with the kids, but I couldn't care less about being around her. I truly don't want to be around her.

Play with the kids. Don't ignore her but do not initiate engagement with her.

I don't feel like I should have to leave my home. But, I do not think she will agree to move out.

Don't leave your house. Let her know you think that a woman who does not want to be in "a M" should leave. Tell her to get busy arranging that. She can move in with parents, a friend, Residence Inn....

I now know I need to put together a plan for me. Do I consult with a L?

Yes. Know any??

Do I set up a seperate checking account so she cannot see what I'm spending my money on (I would give her $ to pay the bills - and I don't know how much, if any, is left over for L or "my" things).

Yes, but not so she can't see. You do it b/c a woman who does not want to be married needs to provide for herself. The reality is that you make the money, so you will be managing the money from here on out. Take the bills from her and you pay them. Give her a painfully small allowance. (Ouch, Greek!!!)

She doesn't have a job, and isn't really looking.

She must get a job. Big Girl Panties (my fave saying!). This is the reality she is asking for.

Guys, I sure could use some advice on what the plan is from here on.

Well, I'm not one of the "guys", but I chimed in anyway.

Cheers.
Greek