On Monday we both decided with our MC that we were going to work on our M, a lot of which means my W will work on herself quite a lot, including dealing with a lot of issues from her past. Our MC assured her (and me) that if/when she deals with those issues, she'll be surprised by how many of the issues that she feels holds her back from having the relationship that she wants with me might just seem to melt away.
We went out for dinner on Wednesday and the whole thing felt strange to both of us... more like dinner with an old friend than with husband/wife. The cool thing is that I didn't get overly upset about things, was able to check in with how I was feeling and afterwards instead of getting down I just said to myself, "oh well, what do I expect, this is going to take a long time."
Last night we spoke for an hour and a half on the phone! She expressed fears and doubts, as well as frustrations with things, but we came away from it agreeing that we shouldn't look down the road too far right now, and that that is what is causing things to be more difficult than they need to be. One day at a time will be our attempted approach, instead.
I have no expectations going forward, save for my own personal continued growth and happiness. I hope that that can be in the context of a great, healthy M with my W, but I'm not freaking out that things are difficult and uncomfortable right now. Feels almost like I'm finally understanding the Taoist principles that I've been reading about/contemplating for years now!
