Hope you're having fun with GAL activities! I was almost going to be driving through your area in a couple weeks en route to a concert but realized I really don't have the money. Very sad.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
It took 2 weeks for H to email again.... Any thoughts about how to respond?
Yes, take your time.
I'm thinking... the skunk deserves at least a week break before he gets his answer.
If I remember correctly... you said you were going away in October.. right? Perfect timing to be out of touch, so when you reply add, "Just got this now. Was out of town and out of touch last week. Here are the answers to your questions:"
BTW, have you gotten all your ducks in a row and moved out yet?
Thanks Gnosis. He is rather a skunk isn't he!
I would not say that all of my ducks are lined up, but enough. I have an apartment and am moving things over there slowly, but if I got the word H would soon return, I could be out. In the meantime, lining up even more ducks.
Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
Dudess, I totally agree with Gnosis.
Wait at least 3-4 days but a week is preferable.
Hope you're having fun with GAL activities! I was almost going to be driving through your area in a couple weeks en route to a concert but realized I really don't have the money. Very sad.
I would have loved to have seen you!
I felt like it was in my best interest to answer his money question right away so I sent a terse, text-like, email with a one sentence answer and said "more later". I haven't sent anything more yet, and today he replied, with a email even more terse than mine, asking me if I had done something I already told him more than a month ago I had. Don't know what that's about. He just seems to get really cold when I don't respond the way he would like. Oh well.
Today H emailed to tell me he is leaving Paris today and to ask me a follow up question on the financial issue. Then he added that he had lit a candle for me at some cathedral last night. WTF does that mean?
I do need to reply to the financial question promptly, but what, if anything, do I say about the candle?
Hmmm... so he lit a candle... what is he praying about? Who cares! As to answering him. No. No. No. Should I repeat that? OK, NO!
Dudess, he's treated you like crap. What are you? His servant? I don't think so. Don't answer him. He doesn't deserve an answer.
If business was so important to him then what is he doing out there in Europe frolicking around with friends? His actions have determined his priorities and right now you and how you are doing are right at the bottom of the list. Below "Is the dog eating his food."
Can't you see? He's pushing your buttons. He KNOWS that only way to get a reaction out of you is to make it "an urgent financial matter". What are you? His personal assistant? I don't think so.
So, the answer is NO. Oh, Dudess, FYI, in case you're wondering, this info is coming from a guy. Let him sort out his own mess.
Last edited by Gnosis; 10/23/0902:52 PM. Reason: Added last sentence
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Can't you see? He's pushing your buttons. He KNOWS that only way to get a reaction out of you is to make it "an urgent financial matter". What are you? His personal assistant? I don't think so.
So, the answer is NO. Oh, Dudess, FYI, in case you're wondering, this info is coming from a guy. Let him sort out his own mess.
If it were just his finances, believe me, I would do nothing. This matter affects me too and it is in my best financial interest that I deal with it.
What do you want to do? If you can ignore him all together, I say do that. If the financial matter impacts you, respond only to that part. Who cares about the candle...maybe he smelled up the bathroom at the cathedral and was trying to clear the air.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
If it were just his finances, believe me, I would do nothing. This matter affects me too and it is in my best financial interest that I deal with it.
Ask yourself this question: "If I was not around, is there any way he could take care of this from Europe? e.g. A phonecall, fax, email etc.. If the answer is "Yes" then I still say keep your hands off.
If it's possible to take care of it without his "calling the shots" then by all means do it. Take care of the issue and don't let him know. Let him wonder. He has not proven himself worthy of a response.
As a last resort and if you've run out of options, take care of it and send him a one word answer: "Done." Don't mention the candle. We both know that if bothers to reply it will be with a snotty one word "thanks".
Keep yourself strong Dudess.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Yes, he could take take care of it from Europe, but I don't want him to. If I don't respond, then he will get involved and I don't want him to. He isn't 'calling the shots' just wanting a status report.
I hear what you're saying Gnosis and totally agree that he deserves nothing from me. I'm not doing this for him - I'm doing it for me. But yeah, saying nothing about the candle makes sense.
I am feeling pretty good. I get sad at times, but all in all, having this extended period of time to leave before he knows, is a good departure scenario for me. I appreciate you sharing your man's point of view Gnosis and validating and reminding me how outrageous his behavior is.
Who cares about the candle...maybe he smelled up the bathroom at the cathedral and was trying to clear the air.
I wish it didn't get to me, but his cluelessness, (I'm supposing), boggles my mind. Did he think I would be touched by his gesture? Yeah, I'm one lucky lady. Having your H light a candle for you in Paris is almost as good as being in Paris.
