Gotta Keep Trying 2

[Looking_For_Help]

Hey GIMA,

Your Quote:

Here are my take aways from last night:
-W does not (or will not allow herself to?) love me.
-W is incapable of meeting ANY of my needs.
-Nothing I have done has had ANY affect upon her (before you say anything - I made these changes for ME and did not have any expectations).

My Reply:

We're in the same boat brother! It feels like the last eight months have made no impact on my W either. My W said yesterday that the fact we're communicating now is a major improvement. At this rate, my marriage will be reconciled in approximately 2 years. I simply have accepted the fact that this reconcliation is not on my timeline...period. There is not much I can do about it...and yes our wives have issues that go way beyond us.

So what are we to do my friend? I think for the first time we now understand what our wives were going through eight months ago. You and I are very close ourselves in becoming the WAS. This is our reality. The only reason I haven't walked away is the kids. I don't want some other guy to ever touch my kids!!! So for now I'm in a waiting pattern. I'm trying my best to accept what my wife has to offer in the present. The future has no guarantees for any of us. I'm trying my best to take the "patience" route. It's hard as hell, but it's my reality for now.

Yesterday, I read the DR chapter on dealing with a depressed person. I really believe my W blames me for her unhappiness. This chapter has realigned my viewpoint on my particular situation. It may help you as well. I'm choosing to be patient at this time, but I do know that this particular situation is going to end sooner or later...this limboland will not be indefinite. My W knows this as well.

Regards,
LFH