I have written more than one letter to H in all of this. They have not and will not be given to him. It helps me to clarify what I really think and feel. The tone has changed over the last couple of years too.
I'm glad to hear you're taking your time to ruminate. I find I surprise myself when I do that.
I do hope you go and dance this weekend. Have a great time. I should start that again. We'll see.