I don't know what to do for the holidays. Do I invite him or no? So confused now. I think we should spend the holidays as a family but I don't know what to think as far as my sitch. What do you think? I don't know if I should ask now or just wait. We are talking civil now when we have contact.
We haven't even been out together since the separation and I read a lot on here about people that do spend time together that are either separated or divorced and we have not done that yet. So do I wait until H ever asks me to do something or something with the kids before I mention holidays?
Don't feel bad. It is an extremely RARE and short occasion when me and W do something together with our kids. I mean it is easily months in between. I had the benefit of D11 suggesting to W that we spend holidays as a family and W wasn't going to say no to the entire thing to D11 and D7 sitting right there with us. I doubt it had much to do with me. I would hope that some of it had to do with me.
I would extend the invite for the holidays and then let it be if you don't hear anything.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Contact is great progress! Remember how far you've come!
I don't think it was a mistake to invite him to the party, just move on. Try to detach and not be disappointed when he doesn't come to things. This is a big part of dealing with a skittish spouse. Not that I'm great at it, but here are some tips. Act confident and nonchalant, like it's no big deal whether he comes or not. If he sense desperation or disappointment it will scare him. Keep things low-key. I know this is hard, but you're doing great.
Maybe text him sometime soon about the holidays. I'm sure he's thinking about it as well.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
H told me he doesn't want our D13 to get the wrong idea and that is why he won't spend time with us as a family. Where do I go from here now? He just wants to be civil and not get back together and claims we had problems for years, which it not true. His depression is like being on a roller coaster. We didn't have problems (big ones) until he stopped taking his meds. He went within 2 weeks from saying he was happy with us to now saying he wasn't happy for years and is happy now living and being alone. Help me out guys. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks Mish. Well H had D13 over the weekend and we have a pool and me and my son tried 4 times to cover it and every time it kept falling right back into pool. When he called I mentioned it and he said when he dropped D13 off on Sunday he would put it on.
That was the first thing he has done since he has been gone. We had a very civil coversation and he was even joking around a bit saying I owe him. He also told me he went back on meds. 2 weeks ago.
D13 came back out of the house and asked him if I could go with them to the circus next weekend with them and he said we'll see (laughing). He said he didn't know if he could afford it which was also a joke because he makes really good money and left me with the bills. He said I will let you know on Sunday (the day they are going) while laughing and he wasn't being sarcastic either. That is his way of joking around.
She said to him "Daddy, mommy never got to go to the circus with us because she was always working, can she come this time?" I jokeing said no I never got to go cause I was always working and would have loved to go with them all the years they went. Guess I messed up Mish.
