Shiny...Anybody,

Quote:

...keep offering him reassurances, keep reaching out, keep the bridge lowered.




How do I keep offering him reassurances, maybe I'm not getting it as as I thought I was offering him reassurances Is it because he has to feel around and get reassured the only way he knows how? Or that I should offer them myself as I'm not sure how to do that either, it seems to make him thing everything's okay the way it is then doesn't it? I have to keep living my life, I can't sit at home and wait for H to come home. Is that what he's thinking I should do now?

Other than come right out and say H I'm waiting for you to come home, until then there's really not a lot we can do to work on OR, is there? BUT, I can't pursue him, I can't bring up OR talks, I can't put pressure on him, I can't tell him I still love him and care about him becuase it makes him feel GUILTY and BAD about himself!

We're still going in circles, aren't we and I guess it's up to me to figure out how to stop THE MADNESS!

Thanks for your insights Shiny, you can really cut through it all and get the meaty stuff. You make total sense and it's the rollercoaster ride from hell that sets my head spinning some days.

At least I didn't call H yesterday and vent/spew to him, which is a 180. I learned from the fourwheeler incident in August, so I am learning to come here and spew....I'm so grateful for this BB.

Who knows this could all turnaround for the better today, things just change so quickly.

Cathy