On my drive home from work I was a mess, I yelled, I screamed, cried and called H every name in the book and had some choice words for the wench, also.!! Now I feel so much calmer, I'm kind of tried, but calmer. Maybe I just need to do that, I don't know. It came out of nowhere and I had been doing so well. Sometimes I think a lot of has to do with hormonal situation.
I can't help but feel sometimes he does things to get back at me, like his plans to go up North. It was after I had told him what my plans were for the weekend that he did come back to me the next day and say "I can't babysit son I'm going to be gone" like there I'll show you I have things to do, too!! Then afterwards he regrets it, but has to carry through on them. Then has to get ahold of me as soon as he can to make sure things are still okay with me. SO because he feels guilty he then has to bait me and bring up the reasons why he wasn't happy and see if he can get a reaction out of me. He did this 4th of July weekend, also, but that time he actually said "that there were days he wished he'd never have left"
And Water, there won't be a letter either. Thank you so much for coming to my rescue and talking sense to me. And I did find the thread you were telling me about, I haven't gotten all the way through but it's very interesting and insightful
Also, most days I do thank God just to let him know I know he's watching over me. When I went to pick son up, I was told that he wouldn't take a nap today and therefore wound up like you wouldn't believe. So of course he needed all my attention tonight. H was going to stop over and then changed his mind which was also a good thing, don't know if I was ready to face him. And, son is now sleeping for the night so I can meditate or relax in front of the TV for awhile. So except for the couple of hours at my pity party today was okay!!
Thank goodness for you wonderful people, I don't know where I'd be without you!!
Thanks Deb, Water and LL--yeah I should tell him to call the Wench, I don't think she puts out though.
