A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

This weekend is going to be interesting. My in-laws are coming. They're not staying with us. They're staying at the D's house while the D's are travelling.

I anticipate that they will want to see H and kidlet.

I anticipate that I will not be included an anything the 4 of them do together.

I anticipate that if MIL has decided to evict us (and if FIL has decided to knuckle under to her), we will be given notice this weekend.

Anybody got advice for this? Should I allow H to allow his mother to exclude me from family functions? For myself, I'm content to let it slide this weekend and this holiday season. Give MIL time to cool down. I also think that even nutjobs have the right to decide with whom they will or will not associate, so if I'm persona non grata, that's ok and I'll go do my thing elsewhere.

My father thinks this is completely inappropriate and that H and FIL should draw a line together and insist that I be included and treated like family, with civility if not with warmth. My father also thinks that H should be the one to explain to kidlet if I am not welcome at the HFOO compound for the holidays. If I do it, no matter how fair and accurate I am, I will be seen as badmouthing/ poisoning kidlet against Gramma H.

What does anybody think?

And for the record, I already told kidlet that Gramma H was angry with me and didn't want to see me or talk to me. As for why, I said Gramma H thought the divorce was my fault and she was angry that I hurt Daddy's feelings.