Your H will set you up. He'll make it so he can yell at you no matter what you do.
Envelope on the floor = Yell at Hope b/c stuff is always a mess around here. Doesn't she ever DO anything around here?
Hope picks up envelope = Yell at Hope for touching my stuff.
Or...
Garage is too full = Yell at Hope b/c I can't get my car in. Doesn't she ever DO anything around here?
Garage is orderly = Yell at hope for touching my stuff.
Maybe he doesn't do this, but my red flags went up when you mentioned those two incidents.
When he does this to you, where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't - do what pleases you. If you want the garage orderly, do it. If you want the envelope off the floor, pick it up. For me, if I knew I was going to be yelled at either way, I'd much rather have been yelled at for doing something I wanted. That way I was at least in control and not knuckling under to an arsehole in the grip of his own demons. When I didn't do things specifically because I didn't want to trigger abuse, I felt like I had become complicit in the abuse.
Does that make any sort of sense?
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
