I haven't had to go on anti depressants yet but I have had to use sleeping pills to get any form or rest. I am working on this week to have absolutely no contact. No texts, e-mail nothing and it has been harder than I could have imagined. You keep thinking that you can say or do something to fix it so they change their mind but I now know it will never happen. My 6 year old misses her a lot and is always commenting on how much she wants to see her. I am basically just going through the motions to stay busy and play more with my little girl. God bless her because with out her I don't know what I would do. Right now the world seems empty and it is like I am always hungry or thirsty and I can not get enough to eat or drink. I am not sure I can do this much longer. It will be 2 months on 10/31. It feels like years.
If the anxiety is that bad, I would recommend anti-depressants or antianxiety meds. It doesn't and probably shouldn't be a long-term solution, but these are tough times. I know this well. Just go see your primary physician and he/she should be able to prescribe something for you. If every you need a crutch to get by it's now.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
Mongoose, significant changes in appetite are a symptom of depression, so is trouble sleeping and "seeing the world as empty". I dont want to convince you that you are depressed, but I do want to make sure that you are not refusing to get treatment for a problem that you may have because of a social stigma or something like that. As long as you realize that you dont HAVE to feel like this. I used medication for about 3 months early in my sep, it really did help me be a more effective DB'er...
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Tonight W asked again if I would take D13. A few days ago she mentioned the friendship with a male friend was over. She seems stressed. I was wondering if it might be time to suggest beginning reconciliation, if on a limited scale.
If not should I try to be consoling? or should I let things lie for now?
Is this a sign of things to come?
Should I initiate some contact?
Last edited by Mark Evolving; 10/22/0909:42 AM.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
Re: my previous post. I was wondering if these were positive signs or not.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
Im sure that they are positive signs... but you still need to be keeping her at arms distance. Dont swoop in to rescue her. If you make yourself attractive enough SHE will be the one to make reconciliation an option, either through her actions or verbally. Have you at any point told her that you dont want a D, or that you want to reconcile? If you have then she already knows, you dont need to repeat it. If you havent said it yet, Im not sure that now is the right time. And just because she says that the friendship is over doesnt mean that it really is.
Do you have 2 kids? I still think that seperating them is a terrible thing to do, if she cant handle them, then you should take both of them.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Tonight W asked again if I would take D13. A few days ago she mentioned the friendship with a male friend was over. She seems stressed. I was wondering if it might be time to suggest beginning reconciliation, if on a limited scale.
If not should I try to be consoling? or should I let things lie for now?
DB counselors would say be consoling if she calls you, but don't call her up to see how she's feeling. Keep making her come to you.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
Hi Blue rain thx I will considering everything you have said. I have been eating regularly and in fact improving my diet because of my workouts. As for lack of sleep I have always had that good times and bad. I guess the hard part is recognizing the signs of depression. Usually the answer for me is to study harder, work harder, put more effort into into, train better, etc. This is a problem that none of the usually venues works. I have a problem with any drugs. Being a former pro athlete it just si not something I normally do not even aspirin but also know that listening to people who not only care but have experience is usually a good thing. So thanks a lot I will look into something that doctor recommends. I need to feel better, I really need to get through this because things are so bad and it hurts so much!!!
Just got a job in the town my W lives in. Not sure if I should tell her directly.
~Mark
Me: 38 W: 34 Together: 9yrs 1st M: may '03 1st D: april '08 1st bomb: june '08 remarried: oct '08 2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)
