So, do I defuse any anxiety she may have over anniversary by telling her what I lined up? Just a nice dinner. And I will pick up some things for her tomorrow for her cake decorating. Nothing over the top.
What did your W prefer during the good times? Did she like it when you took control and planned dinners? Or did she prefer to have input? Has her behavior changed dramatically on this point? Or is she still acting the same in this department?
So, do I defuse any anxiety she may have over anniversary by telling her what I lined up? Just a nice dinner. And I will pick up some things for her tomorrow for her cake decorating. Nothing over the top.
What did your W prefer during the good times? Did she like it when you took control and planned dinners? Or did she prefer to have input? Has her behavior changed dramatically on this point? Or is she still acting the same in this department?
GAG
I think she likes it when I plan it. I haven't seen any changes in her regarding this.
Do you think she's struggling withthe same stuff we do about the anniv?
I wonder if he's going to do anything/gem me anything? What should I get him? If he gets me something and I don't have anything for him...? If I get him something, will it send the wrong message?
One way to fix that is to tell her, perhaps with a certain air of mystery, that "You Have Plans for Her This Weekend."
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Do you think she's struggling withthe same stuff we do about the anniv?
I wonder if he's going to do anything/gem me anything? What should I get him? If he gets me something and I don't have anything for him...? If I get him something, will it send the wrong message?
One way to fix that is to tell her, perhaps with a certain air of mystery, that "You Have Plans for Her This Weekend."
That sort of gets back to my question a couple back. If she is struggling with "sending the wrong message," wouldn't that mean she isn't at a place where she would be receptive to a "I want to hold your hand" talk?
We can't know that, though. The struggling isn't always about sending the 'wrong' message. Sometimes the struggling is about not knowing where our partner is at. Not to mention not know where WE're at.
Do you think she doesn't know where you are with all of this? I mean, step back for a moment - leaving aside what we know here - to her you might look awfully darn content with the roommate arrangement. Ok, except for the bed thing at Disney.
Last edited by Dia; 10/23/0901:50 AM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
We can't know that, though. The struggling isn't always about sending the 'wrong' message. Sometimes the struggling is about not knowing where our partner is at. Not to mention not know where WE're at.
Do you think she doesn't know where you are with all of this? I mean, step back for a moment - leaving aside what we know here - to her you might look awfully darn content with the roommate arrangement. Ok, except for the bed thing at Disney.
That's a tough one Dia. I don't know what she thinks. I suspect she is happy with my changes and thinks it has been about 6 months and I haven't wavered on my changes. If I've done anything right, it's that I have been consistent with my changes.
If she were convinced D was the only way, I think I would have heard something by now. I don't think she believes our current sitch is healthy.
So, that only leaves two possibilities - that she is unsure or its a green light. And between those last two, I just don't know. NOT having a R talk is consistent with unsure.
