Changing Man

[Dia]

Oh, geez - I just remembered this story and after all the stuff about BOB, I have to tell it.

We don't have network TV, just a DVD player and movies. In about the 2nd week of kindergarten, kidlet toddled up to me while I was making oatmeal for breakfast and asked, very earnestly,

Kidlet: Mom, when I'm 14, can I have a dildo?

Dia: A WHAT??!! (and WTH does being 14 have to do with it?)

Kidlet: A dildo.

Dia: Where did you hear that word??

Kidlet: From the movie.

I'd been gone the night before. H said he and kidlet had watched 'movies'.

Dia: What movie?

Kidlet: The one with the horsie.

H let him watch a movie with a dildo and a HORSIE??!! But there was this teeny, tiny glimmering that I might *not* need to kill my H afterall. I squatted down to look into kidlet's sleepy little face.

Dia: Ok, kiddo, tell me one more time, really clearly. What is it you want when you're 14?

Kidlet (enunciating hard): HAAAA-dildo.

And I really did sit on the floor laughing (and burning the oatmeal).

Dia: Baby, that movie is called "Hidalgo." Say it for me - "Hi-dal-go."

Kidlet: HAAAA - dil-go.

Dia: Good enough. Tell you what, you don't talk about that movie at school and I promise you that when you're 14, you can see Hidalgo.

Kidlet had been watching Pirates of the Caribbean. And one of the previews on that disk is for Hidalgo, which is rated PG-13. Kidlet knows what the ratings mean, so that's why he specified that he had to be 14 before he could have his 'dildo.'