I had the MRI on the knee, but don't know the results as of yet. However, I did go to a chiropractor on Monday and he relieved a lot of pain and pressure. He looked at the right knee and thinks it may be an injury to the MCL, but he's not sure either w/out the MRI to look at.
I am looking at things differently and it has helped. I've been continuing to do some reading, and finishing up "How to Improve Your Marriage W/Out Talking About It" has been a great read as it gave me some really good insight as to what I did wrong in my M as well as what I can do to help things out in my current R.
That is the part that is a bit troubling right now as GF has gone into a depressed state and we've not been in much contact since Sunday morning. She is worried about her stolen car (recovered near the border), she finally wrapped up a wrongful termination suit w/the EEOC, and she's having some issues w/what may be an ulcer in her stomach that is causing her a ton of pain.
So, she sent me a text after the EEOC thing finalized on Monday and then I didn't hear from her again until Wednesday morning when she told me she was depressed and didn't want to be around anyone. She apologized for not being in touch w/me and said it wasn't fair for me right now.
I "stepped into the puddle" w/her and affirmed her situation and how difficult things have been for her. I told her I missed her, but I know she needs space. I left w/telling her I'm here for whatever and she knows how to find me if she needs anything.
So, now I'm just in a bit of a holding pattern as I try to decide whether or not this is going to be something where she really needs time, or if she's blowing me off and wanting to end things. I'm tending to believe she's really in a down state and is retreating into her shell and I don't really think it is about me.
However, until she decides to get some help, I'm not sure there is going to be a future w/us. Now, I'm in that area where I'm planning on giving her her room and allowing her to "miss me" but I'm also confused as to whether or not I should reach out to her.
This is where relationships are tough. Am I supposed to stay away, or is she calling out for help and wants my connection? It is hard to get connected on an emotional level if we aren't interacting. Thus, my internal dilemma. Again, it could be over-analysis, so for now, I'm going to stay away, but may end up sending her a card or something in the mail if I continue not to hear from her. I'm in uncharted waters and learning to sail on my own w/a new outlook about who I am and newly formed confidence about myself.
In the end, if it goes too long w/out contact, I'll know what is up and where things are so I'll look to move on at that point. I'm not interested in dating someone else and if this goes south, I'll be sad. However, I've learned a lot and would be able to get back on my feet again w/out much delay.
So, that is what is going on for now. I'm in limbo right now, but determined to stay away and give her space. That is what she asked for, so I'll give it to her. The tone of her texts didn't feel like the "it is over" messages, but just that she feels guilty that she can't give me attention right now b/c she's too consumed by her own issues.
I could be wrong, but I'm feeling like it is a space issue right now and if that is true, then the only thing that changes things is time.
I'm interested in what the ladies take on this is and I know what the male perspective will be - I need to lead - but I'm confused as to how to "lead" when we are in this current mode.
So, I'll keep you all posted and will look forward to hearing some feedback.
Again, it could be over-analysis, so for now, I'm going to stay away, but may end up sending her a card or something in the mail if I continue not to hear from her. I'm in uncharted waters and learning to sail on my own w/a new outlook about who I am and newly formed confidence about myself.
