Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I pray alot... during my drive to work,at my desk,anytime I get a free moment, but my real praying time gets done first thing in the morning before bible reading and at night.....but mostly in the morning....my private time with the Lord
Have you seen any softening of his heart since you started praying? Have there been any positive signs at all? How long have you been praying for your marriage?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
The one sign I have had is not towards me at all.....once in a while I will get back a text i sent him regarding a bad dream or something about our dogs he has with him.... The only other thing is a big one in my eyes.. While we were married he never attended church only on special occassions such as baptism's or christmas,he always was the one to work on most weekends, as he worked in retail....but since I have been praying, mostly for his true repentance and making Jesus his saviour .....HE HAS BEEN ATTENDING CHURCH ALL THE TIME, even if it is with the O/W, to me that is a big thing. God is working on him, I may not see anything on my behalf but the holy spirit is doing something with him. He is a handy man at heart, he worked on the church he is attending small remodel job, got paid made a little money....when it was all finished the pastor asked him to say a few words on the church....how it was the body of christ.....not just the building but us as christians we are the body of christ..... I almost fell over my chair when our daughter told me of that......my husband behind a pulpit saying scripture from the bible. All my friends call him a hypocrite because he is sinning with this o/w, but church is not just for people who have christ in their life BUT FOR ALL SINNERS. I have faith that one day the strongholds will be broken.....sometimes I do get discouraged but he lifts me up everytime I feel like giving up... My husband started his MLC 01/07
I would say that is a huge sign that he is going to church again. That is wonderful.
My W is no longer attending church and hasn't for many months. I think she has gone 2 or 3 times this past year. I wonder if she feels like she doesn't belong there because of OM. I don't know. I might have pushed her out of church as well which I regret if I did by pointing out her hypocracy. That was very stupid of me looking back and very judgemental as none of us are saints.
I am glad you get lifted up when you get discouraged and feel like giving up. I can relate to those feelings all to well. I stand for my M, but sometimes the thought of calling it off and walking away enters my mind. Then when it does, certain verses come to mind and I hop back on my stand.
Whatever you do, don't give up on God to change his heart. I think what you are seeing really is God working on him. Just remember like I have to, His timing and understanding is not our timing and understanding.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I can relate to the laying it all out on the table, when we find out what they are doing.....we want everyone to know how much they have hurt us, like us telling all, will somehow make them change their minds. How foolish we are when we are trying to get them back.....if we only knew then what we know now, maybe the outcome would of been different.I do know one thing and that is I AM BETTER than I was back then.... feels good to laugh again and have fun.feel alive.....no longer am I controlled by me thinking and feeling sorry for myself... I have come a long way and I am very proud of myself......thanks to the Lord, he gets all the glory.......
: ) We wouldn't know we were better if we weren't better people...and sadly, many of us, myself certainly included needed that wake up call to become better.
Realizing the mistakes we made were actually mistakes...very big part of growing as a person.
Keep up the excellent work IRMAC. : )
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I do not think one can measure how much one prays as a guide to how things will turn out. God hears our prayers, cries, praises, hurts, and so on. Some people meditate and pray at certain times, others on/off throughout the day and as if they are talking to someone in silence or out loud.
He will change you but it does take a very long time for the walk away spouse to have a total change of heart, if they do at all.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
So far I have found Jon2911, SoCo, Fightin4mywife, and FaithfulH live in the Dallas area. It would be great if we could form a local DB support group here and all meet at dinner sometime.
Let me know your thoughts,
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I dont know how to answer that, I have always wanted to do that, but dont know of any females who live near me.....I think the ratio should be about the same for male and female though. Let me know who else might be interested.....would be nice to put a face to the screen name.....and share our stories in person and what D/B we have done.....let me know.... have other D/B'ers done this in here???? just wondering???
