I posted in the newcomers but needed advice

[Arwen_in_NJ]

Swimming-
this is what I am hearing from you "he wants me to do this, so I do"...

"I told him to leave, and then when he wanted to talk about it, I said I am sorry you feel that way"...

If you are going to make a stand, then make a stand. You are sending contradictory messages. You say "I am not going to put up with this, you need to leave" and then you don't enforce it. You haven't really been DB'ing at all- you've been letting your H pull your strings like you are a puppet.

You need to DETACH, let your husband sit in his own stuff, GET A LIFE, and stop letting someone else (who is obviously screwed up) determine whether or not you are "good enough". What kind of example are you setting for your D???

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."

Stephen R. Covey