Dealing with my brother has been hands down the worst thing I have ever been through. Sometimes it just hits me. I went to a funeral with my dad a couple of weeks ago, it was for a cousin of his. I had never met him but I went to be there for my dad. Well, turns out they had the visitation in the same room we had my brothers...I completely broke down. It was like it was happening all over again. Mish, I don't know if it is any harder than a long term illness, just a different kind of grief.
I don't think I ever posted here what happened, but the autopsy showed he had sarcoidosis in his lungs and heart. He never knew it. Looking back, I can totally see the symptoms and I have a lot of guilt over what I thought the symptoms were caused by. It helps to know but hurts at the same time to know that he was in pain and din't know why.
Anyway, we are getting married at the little church of the west (the hotel weddings are expensive!) We had originally planned on going alone but a lot of people wanted to come so we decided to let them. If it had just been the two of us we probably would have planned it for early next year, but I ended up planning around my mom. He has a house here, so I will be moving out of my apartment I waited for for so long and moving into his house. I can't tell you how good it is to be with a grown up! I spent my entire R with xh taking care of him, worrying about him, etc. No more of that. I really thought I would never find happiness or love someone so strongly again, but it happened.
He has a house here, so I will be moving out of my apartment I waited for for so long and moving into his house. I can't tell you how good it is to be with a grown up! I spent my entire R with xh taking care of him, worrying about him, etc. No more of that. I really thought I would never find happiness or love someone so strongly again, but it happened.