Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

I appreciate the praise, but I haven't really been at this much longer than you have. I just bought the book last week!

(I guess I should update my thread from a couple of days ago about my sitch.)

As for him leaving on Sunday? That's 3 days from now. Three days for you to put your best foot forward and for him to think. It sounds like the detachment and 180's might be doing some good, so keep them up!

He is ultimately going to have to be the one to talk about coming back, because it's his choice to make. And when he does, you should know what your boundaries are and communicate them clearly.

Does he get to sleep in the same bed if he moves back in? How about physical affection in general (hugs and kisses)? If PA is acceptable, how do you feel about lovemaking?

Lovemaking will be the one you have to be the most clear about; our first attempt after the bomb was dropped was, to put it mildly, a disaster and make things worse for a while. If you're not comfortable, he needs to know and needs to know what it'll take to earn that privilege back (even if the answer is "I'm not sure yet"). This is him taking responsibility for his actions, and he should respect you for it.

If getting together with your girlfriends doesn't seem likely, look into finding something else to occupy your time. Now is a perfect time to pick up an old hobby, or try a new one. Take some time to have fun by yourself, and maybe you'll make some new friends along the way.