H just left after a very pleasant evening. He's going North to do some fishing this weekend, I'm sure with OW, but I really don't care. H is going fishing, when H fishes he can fish all day and I'm good for an hour or two but all day is a lot so I hope if OW goes she has other stuff to do. H only does what he wants to do, I don't think we've ever had a romantice weekend and I don't think OW would know what do with one either. There's something strange going on or maybe it's because it doesn't bother me or that there's nothing happening with H and OW. Oh well I can't put a finger on it either.
Left work early to mow the lawn. Stopped mowing as I was going to pick up S from daycare. H called as I was on my way back and asked if I was picking up son. I said yes. He said how'd you get home so fast? I said I left early.
H took S and they ran some errands, I was going to run errands also in the same area so called H and said let me know where you're eating and I can meet you there.
After I left the message I thought what am I doing, he's not going to call me. But I've felt good all day so if he hadn't called me I would have went somewhere and eaten by myself. BUT, he did call me and I met them for dinner. Son and H had already ordered. H asked if I was going to get anything and I said I'll just eat whatever S doesn't eat. He said no get your own and gave me some money to get something.
We joked around at the restaurant. He jokingly was accusing me of all of his problems, H said his celebacy (I don't think he's having sex with OW, I believe it too for some strange reason), that he can't do IT anymore, that I killed IT and that he used to be a machine, blah, blah. I said yeah you're a machine alright-tongue in cheek. He said what do you mean? What I meant and didn't tell him was that he didn't have any feelings or emotion...that was bad but I don't think he caught on.
He then a said few more things trying to put the blame on me for his bad life, what wasn't going right, --just like when we he was home with us--but it was more joking. I said everyone has to make their own choices, whether they be good or bad, you can't blame me. This was very lighthearted conversation, too. More joking than anything else.
I'm going to say this again, everything felt so normal, like we aren't having problems. Like he's just living someplace else for now. Is that strange?
Does anyone here remember or thought they felt when things were changing and that it was shortly before Spouse decided to come back? Or am I just strange?
H also left me some money for babysitter, wanted to know why he had to pay for a babysitter while I was out partying. H said I had son all last weekend...what does that mean!? Somethings about H will not change and I can accept this is the way he is. I don't have a problem having son all the time, but I don't think I should have to pay for a babysitter, he's still responsible.
I then said I might need some help with some bills and food, that I can't keep up. He then mentioned that I had a freezer full of meat and that he didn't see me learning to cook anything, since he left. I asked him how do you know that I don't to which he replied whenever I come over here there's nothing to show other than the goulash you made last weekend and the lasagne a few weeks ago. I said I don't eat that much, son eats pretty much anything and it doesn't make sense to make a roast for two people. It just goes to waste. He just shakes his head.
He does try to control me by his words and I think Shiny/LL you're right he knows this and doesn't like the power shifting and me standing up for myself. Or that he can't control me by his words, which I again did tonight at the restaurant, wouldn't let him get to me with his words and accusations.
Well that's it for now I think. I don't know that I'll be here much this weekend. H is going to be gone. I have plans for the weekend. Big college football game I'm going to on Saturday will also try to golf, Sunday I think I'm going to go bow hunting, BY MYSELF I might add--I'll have to remember to take cell phone into the woods in case something happens to me, too. Tomorrow night I think I'll have a little fire in our pit with son and me. It's a full moon.
Oh who am I kidding I'll be checking back later and also tomorrow while I'm at work.
