Cake eating WAW in MLC and EA part 2

[CABBR]

Yesterday, we met with a child psychologist again in regard to how and when to tell the kids (S9, S6). The psych still believes in not saying anything until you know what's going to happen and when.

While this seems sound, my W has told the parents of a number of S9's friends and it could easily get back to out kids through their friends, which would be awful. Plus we have some of these kids over and they ask, referring to the basement, who sleeps here?

Following this meeting, my W wants to engage in more of what I think PDT would describe as "normalizing" - going places with one parent and the other becoming scarce, so the kids become more acclimated to this situation. While it may lessen their anxiety in the near term, I think it just confuses them more and seems like it's being done just as much to lessen the guilt of the WAS, so that when the bomb is ultimately droped on them, the kids are so desensitised they don't really react. I really don't want to play this game.

Despite their ages, my kids have a right to know and they are quite conflicted/upset at times when Mommy is out or working at night.

What do you guys think?