AFWAW, I have been real busy with work but take time to check on you as much as possible. As always you are getting great advice from PDT so...
...the question really is "What do you want and are you sure that is waht you want."
You can't keep playing games...this could last for years if you do.
I think it best if you attempt to swallow your pride and ask yourself do you want to spend the rest of your life with her.
If you do not want to then finish the paperwork with the lawyer...again, your legal situation is about as good as it gets with her leaving your daughter. Are the bills still being paid? How did that new vehicle work out? Will that be a problem if she comes back? Do you know what other bills she may have now? Credit cards are usually the first thing to get maxed out. Has she provided any support for your daughter?
Have you really sat down and talked to her? Is the OM still there? Do you know who he is? Any of the OM? Do not believe her when she tells you she made that up. Through all of this remeber she is a liar. Sorry but she is. Ask for proof when possible if you want to attempt to stay together.
Now is a good time for both of you to see a IC and a MC. Don't forget daughter. I would not recommend she move back home right now because you will lose some of your advantage on the legal front. Your thoughts should be "I hope this works but if not I will stick it to her in the divorce." That way you can operate from a position of power...try to operate from a "WIN-WIN" for both of you. Although not you fault something was wrong before you went to Iraq and you should have an idea what it is...if not ask while in MC.
There are a hundred questions I think you should ask yourself and put out here for advice. In the end it only matters what you want. Make a decision soon...she screwed up bad. And for the record...you are not divorced so lose the FaceBook for now. It occupies time you should have spent studying for that stripe and spending with your daughter. Get a pencil and paper and rack and stack what you need to do today, this week, month, and year. Then do it!
In all of this never forget your daughter...confirm she is well, your W is not having her exposed to OM (to include talking about her OM, personal items in the apartment, etc) You seem to have slacked off on updating her thoughts...this is her life also. Try not to let it become "normal" for her. She is too young to lose her innocence.
