I pick son up from daycare, come home and am cleaning windows, which need it very badly. The bugs are terrible! So about half hour after I get home, H shows up and I see he has a cooler in the back of his truck. Well it's the processed bear meat from his hunting trip in September to put in the freezer in the garage. He also brought me my extra arrows that he had taken with him and his old bow for Ss19…not too long ago H told me Ss19 was going to have to buy his own bow and that he wasn't going to give him his old one.
He really doesn't say to much to me. He won't say hi, but that isn't unusual. He unloads the cooler, I try to help he doesn't let me. We goof around outside of awhile with son. He does joke around with me, like old times.
It get dark we come in the house, I made us both salads, which he did eat. S3 then leaves the room. H then says, how come you were so ornery or something to that affect Saturday night? I said why because I told you not to call me names? H then said I was all set to come here on Sunday and pack the rest of my s*** BUT I talked myself out of it. And then I was going to do it tonight, but you were here. Now I didn't believe this because why would he have brought the bear meat here, I didn't say anything either. He then says I can see nothings changed, which he hasn't said in a long time and which he knows isn't true, and I said "how so" and he said your attitude or something like that. My attitude? Because I stood up to him and told him not to come back? Isn't that a poor excuse on his part? He then says you didn't even say thank you for all the stuff I've been doing around the house the last couple of weeks. What, don't you think I don't help out. I DID say thank you, I remember saying it, but he claims I didn't. Is this normal? To forget? I then said I think I'm sure I said thank you and he then says oh you THINK you're sure, I said I know I'm sure.
I have plans to go the football game Saturday night with some friends. He then wants to know when I ordered extra tickets, I said in April and he said before April 9 or after April 9. I said I don't remember and I didn't. I was planning on going with gfs then because for the two months before the bomb he didn't want to do anything with me anyway. He then says he can't watch son because HE'S GOING TO BE GONE. I said okay, I can get a babysitter. I think he just does this because he knows I have plans so he wants to make sure I know he has plans. He wants to know who's going I tell him. You mean PW is going to drive down here and then tell him KV is coming. Oh she won't come. These are wives of friends of both of ours, too.
Son is taking a shower and H comes into the room where I'm laying on the bed? He wants to know if I'm seeing wacko counselor? I said no. Then he said something about her telling me stuff like "am I coming back" "am I not coming back" does she say "don't worry about what he's doing", etc. It don't really know what his point was either.
So as he's leaving I say thank you for all the help around the house I really appreciate it...OH YEAH RIGHT and he makes a face. I said I do appreciate it why wouldn't I? Becuase that's the way you are he says. So tomorrow I'm hiring a skywriter to write it across the sky.
Since we were doing so well, I mean he was starting to come out of his tunnel, has Saturday night set him back to the beginning, meaning six months ago? I mean he hasn't said "nothings changed" in a long, long time. Some say the do come out and go back in and that this process could take awhile.
I'm holding tight, he was very okay by the time he left and talkative. Didn't say bye though.
He's so rude and why the heck is telling me I have an attitude. I just wanted to let it all out on H tonight! He's the one living somewhere else, not me. He's got the attitude, he hasn't changed very much either, but would I dare say that to him. Oh no it would crush his little ego, but does he care what he says to me, oh no. That's okay, he's got it soo backward.
Okay I think I'm done venting, I really feel bad for him, I want to help him feel better, but he can only do this when he's ready. I just felt such compassion for him towards the end of the evening and I just wanted to hug him and say I'd always be his friend. But, of course, he wouldn't have let me do that either.
