Keep hanging in there mar, there WILL be drawbacks from time to time. Yeah, there's that word again, time. Just like the statistics say, a seperation will last on average a number of months the same in years you were together. I don't know the saying for how long it takes to get back together completely, but it certainly won't be overnight ya know.
It just simply sounds like your XH had a drawback moment. Maybe he talked with someone who might of triggered something to make him feel uneasy? Just the same as there is a 'catalyst friend' to encourage a spouse to walk away, there is one if not many to remind the LBS how hurt they were and to think clearly about a possible R again.
It all still sounds positive, so one day at a time, and put yourself in his shoes when you don't understand his actions.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Yes, I am doing what I can...Last week he asked if I was still interested in the Disney trip, I guess because we hadn't talked in 3 days (which apparently is long for us these days), I told him I was and asked him the same question. He responded that he was too. However, we still haven't finalized plans. I sent him an email at the beginning of one week with pricing. But then he didn't get back to me, at the end of the week I asked him if he got the email and he said that he had and that he liked what I found out, but since I was going to check on one more thing and he was waiting for that. Hmmmm, just seems like such a game to me. So anyway...I emailed him yesterday with all the information, didn't get a response yet. I guess I'll have to wait another week? Is this a type of drawback too?
So we got our pumpkins today : ) and finalized the Disney trip, : ) and have been cordially invited to a Halloween Party this weekend...but no....I refuse to not think of it as any more than doing things together for our little boy's sake. It was a really nice day though...
and have been cordially invited to a Halloween Party this weekend...but no....I refuse to not think of it as any more than doing things together for our little boy's sake.
Well, wait, hold the bacon here. I would ass-u-me the party is just you and your X?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Well, no it isn't just he and I..... The party is held at friends of ours house (actually the guy was my Ex's friend for years) We actually met at he and his wife's wedding! They have a son that ours likes to play with and since it is My Ex's weekend with our s, well, I guess he had mentioned to me that he planned on taking s to this party and asked if I'd be interested in going with my daughter also (she's 15). (He is really the only positive male role model she's ever had in her life).
I told him I would be interested and that I am just trying to do the right thing when it comes to our boy since he likes us being together. I guess I said that so he wouldn't feel like I was misinterpreting anything again, and I refuse to let myself. I think if he ever invites me anywhere that our s is not going to be, then that will be something I can think of as more than just a Mom tagging along for the sake of our boy right?
My niece just got married and they want to have a very informal party at a hall, and guess who's got that weekend with our s? I do, so I plan on asking my Ex if he'd like to go..I know everyone would love to see him as well.
Ya know, it's kind of cool, my Ex will text me or email me for some of my old recipes sometimes. He knows how much I love to cook, and he knows I love when people like my food! So even that makes me feel good.
He told me recently that he learned a lot about parenting from me and that's why he's a better father than he would have been if he wasn't a step dad to my 2 girls. I actually have noticed that he is a great Dad to our s and it's heartwarming to see.
Well, kind of randomly talking here...sorry, getting back to the original question. It's not just my Ex and I, but I don't think he had to invite me either...so IDK?..
Wow, I hope you are right! I'll will see how the "aura" feels at the party and ask him. I'll let you know next week...have a great weekend! And... I hope you get the situation you are wanting too....
mar, this all sounds wonderful! and i pray for your success.
i do have a question though: if you are able to finally reconcile with your ex, are you going to accept him for who he is, or still be bugged about being "sex-starved?"
i would say that in most of these WAS cases, there is seldom a valid reason to destroy these perfectly decent marriages. i get so sick of people talking about their feelings.
no wonder the LBS eventually becomes the WAS and wants to move on. hopefully, they will then look for someone a lot more stable so they can have a marriage that is not so fragile as to be destroyed by their spouses silly "feelings."
Hmmm Kimmie Lee, don't know how to quite tell if you're honestly happy for a possible success or a bitter person that doesn't know me and is calling me unstable?
But.. to answer your question, I'm stable enough to know that if I am lucky enough to have a 2nd chance to have a perfectly decent marriage, then we would obviously have to go to a great therapist to talk about our silly "feelings" and then build a better marriage than the old one.
Wow, I hope you are right! I'll will see how the "aura" feels at the party and ask him. I'll let you know next week...have a great weekend! And... I hope you get the situation you are wanting too....