I cannot believe how I wacked out about the cell phone thing today, it was an awful feeling, but it was based on my conversation with H Saturday night, where I told him to leave and not come back, if he called me names. I am now okay with what I said to H Saturday night after he called me an a****** even though I might have deserved it, I finally stood up to him. I had a bad dream last night about it too...
This might have scared him back into his tunnel, but I guess that's okay, I stood up for myself. I was right to do that and to be very honest it's only the second time in my life that I've ever stood up to someone, stood for something I believed in even though it might mean losing that person for what I said.
I just let it really get to me today and I WISH I wouldn't have called him today either. He has no idea what I wanted and didn't call me back so he's bugged. BTW--called the cellphone company they told me what to do and it worked and phone is fine.
Why do I think I'm that important that he would spend the whole weekend plotting to get even with me. When I came home tonight I was half expecting the rest of his stuff to be gone, also. I sometimes expect the worst in a situation and work through my feelings before anythings happened, just to prepare myself mentally and this might not be a good idea.
I thought I had learned to defeat my negative thinking, but this might take a little since I've been negative most of my life. I sometimes like to compare it to an optimistic person, an Optimist is always looking on the good side and it's probably really hard for them to be negative, it's not natural. As a negative person has a hard time being positive, it's not natural.
