Am I pathetic or what? My big post this morning is ashes as of now. So I decide to go shopping during lunch, stop at my car to get cell phone, it won't turn on!!! So what do you think I do, ASSume the worst!!! H has turned it off!! It's in his name, he did threaten last week to take it back, once again. So I'm thinking I can't believe he did this....so I get in my car and am going to drive to his jobsite...except I have no idea where it is. So I just spend the last half hour driving around looking for it and trying like heck to get my cellphone on. Well the lights or something should at least come on as before I got this one my old phone came on even after it wasn't being used anymore. I'm in a panic the whole time, anxiety back, can't figure our what's wrong. Finally I calm down enough and realize he wouldn't turn it off just because I told him to leave Saturday night...why do I think the worst! I can't find his jobsite so I come back to my office and decide to call him, ASSuming his phone is turned off and that he won't want to talk to me ever again, but his phone is not turned off. I leave a message saying hi, just called to see how your day is going and to call me if he had a chance....well after I hung I tried my cellphone number and it's NOT disconnected, I can leave a voicemail!! So everything I said early today about anxiety, etc., is null and void. Maybe worse may be the fact that the phone might be broke and H paid for it..
Why can't I have more faith in my H especially when I think he should have more faith in me? Why do I always ASSume the worst? I do this for a lot of other things, too. But, my runaway mind just took over on this one.
If I would have found his jobsite I would have just told him I was visiting, to see how he was doing, he wouldn't get mad at me there.
What is wrong with ME? At least I'm figuring out not to flip out ON HIM and to really think about things, by the time I made it back to my office I had managed to calm down a little and believe that H wouldn't do that just because of what I said Saturday night...I just can't believe myself sometimes.
