Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

One other thing does your C think she's depressed? Post child?

No comment from my C.

IMHO it is two things:

First, although Mrs. T says that she has forgiven me, etc, I think that she has a ton of built up resentment. During every R discussion she brings up how unhappy she was during the first couple of years of our M. She also holds on tightly to everything that I have done that is negative, and immediately forgets everything positive. This continuous resentful state prevents her from experiencing any attachment or positive emotions.

Second, Mrs. T has a lot of stresses in her life - family members dying, cancer, personal health issues, etc. It all compounds with her FOO issues to make her feel (at the core) inadequate and unlovable and (on the surface) unhappy. She is convinced that she needs to be M'd to someone who MAKES her happy. Since I don't (how could I in our current sitch), then I am the wrong person for her. If she stays, in other words, she believes she will never again be happy. I don't think she is capable of examining the core issues right now.


Nothing I can do about it, so I don't spend much time trying to mindread, but it does help me to have more compassion. And based on my anger last week, I need that compassion

The troubles in our M really began in a time several years ago when, within a 6-month period, her father died, our middle child got very sick, I lost my job, and we had to make a hurried move for my new work(new house, new town, etc). Our life recovered, but our M never really did.