Glad to hear she is willing to dialogue, even a little. You can still go to the Post sessions. You can make up the first one next time it is offered. Do practice using the dialogue technique. If she will obey the rules, it will give you a way to have a discussion that "should not" dissolve into antagonistic fighting. But she doesn't want to change. And Retrouvaille assumes that people are in enough pain doing the status quo that they will be willing to at least try out some changes. A favorite mantra is "Is nothing changes, then... nothing changes." In order to get change, you have to be willing to change.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
I don't mean to dismiss everything on the shelf but the best source for observation, discussion, and problem solving is right here. You're working in a real-life social sciences laboratory.
The best books for reaching a detached mindset from the problems can be found in classics, biographies, sports, travel...
But if you insist on a title may I suggest, "When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times", Pema Chodron.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
O'dog particularly likes biographies of Lincoln and Churchill.
The biography "Lincoln's Melancholy", Joshua Wolf Shenk was very intense and personal.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Again from Mrs. T. regarding dialoging today: "I don't have time"
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I am taking steps to increase the separation between us, and also to prepare myself for D.
I just took out a loan to buy a second car. We have been a 1-car family for a while. That's easy since I work from home we almost never need 2 cars at once, and I just rent a car for a day or two whenever we do. No longer, however. Although I generally hate the "landcrushers" I am buying a SUV big enough to hold all of the kids, carseats, etc. That way it won't matter which one of us has the kids at the time, either car will fit. I'll have the car purchased by the end of the week.
I just arranged for my company to rent me an office. I should be out of the home office as soon as next week.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
That's fantastic! Actions speak louder than words. Your giving her what she wants. Its been almost a year for the ILYBNILWY. You are now at a point that you still love her but can no longer continue this. Keep praying try throwing a little fasting in there.
One other thing does your C think she's depressed? Post child?
JJ
H:37 W:34 D11,S8,S6 Together 19 years M:10 Bomb:4/09
